“Moon,” Kai said then quickly repeated himself. “The answer is the moon.”
The bored female sphinx continued to rest on a large mound of dirt, so her body didn’t touch the water. She replied with the same dead-pan tone in her voice, “Congratulations, you have passed the test. Please continue moving as you explore the fun house. If you doddle you will be moved along. Please choose, left, right, or forwards.”
“Straight ahead,” Kai responded.
The party splashed through the foot-deep water, as the sphinx moved just enough to let them pass forwards towards the kelpie room. Charmander rested on Scomatch’s shoulder. His face drooped, as he was clearly not happy in this watery place. Reentering the 60’ by 60’ room filled with brackish water, the group traveled left, around the circumference, and made their way to the gap they’d need to jump the drop-off to the other side to avoid taking a swim.
Guo Gan easily leaped the distance. Kildo followed, but landed with a rounding splash and was not as graceful as the monk elf. As Kai was making some room to jump, there was a resounding bubbling under the water. Two creatures burst out. They appeared as 7’, feral goblins with noses and claws, which were not long or sharp enough to be used as weapons, but resembled bears. Each wielded a morning star. However, they were dressed unusually. Instead of armor, each were wrapped in kelp, and by the dressings, females. Even their weapons were wrapped in the seaweed, poorly.
“Yar! I’m a kelpie!” one of the bugbear females shouted. “Come kiss me ‘n da water!”
‘Sploosh!’ came the sound as Scomatch reactively threw a chromatic orb. It missed by several feet. The spell detonated under the waves. There was a muffled crack of thunder as water exploded up from below.
Also taken off guard, Guo Gan thrust with his spear at the bugbears, but missed, as the creatures went under the waves. However, whether it was a planned defensive tactic, or they just couldn’t swim well, was equally likely.
The aqua bears reemerged and swung their kelpie-infused morning stars at Kai and Guo Gan. The two unorthodox weapons missed and only succeeded in splashing the paladin and monk with water.
“Oi, those be bugbears!” Kildo shouted as he swung with his war hammer as it splashed into the murky kelpie pool missing, as the kelpie bears re-submerged. “Besides, I’d rather kiss an elf than yer lot!”
Recovering from the surprise, Guo Gan timed the action of the nearest bugbear, as he stabbed it twice with lethal accuracy. Blood and ichor mixed with the water, as the now dead creature, drifted off.
The last bugbear swiped at Kai as he approached the edge, but a combination of the kelp- wrapped morning star, trying to stay afloat, and swinging, she only struck the waves. Changing tactics, she attempted to reach the water’s edge.
“Bugbears alright. The two unluckiest bugbears in the world,” Kai commented, as the kelpie- covered bugbear slowly splashed and approached. Kai slashed twice with his magical long sword. Striking her head, blood spurted from the mortal wounds. The body began to bob on the surface.
Using the reach of his spear, Guo Gan snagged one of the bodies and pulled it towards the side. It had dropped its morning star, but he noticed two things. First, there were three slash marks along each side of their necks, which resembled gills, but were more likely self-inflicted. The second had a woven necklace just like the wrights. The monk pulled it from the bugbear and fished for the other one. After retrieving both, he pushed their corpse out, which gradually sank.
“Scomatch, what are those things?” Kai asked pointing with his chin towards the two woven necklaces in his hands.
Adjusting his goggles, Scomatch studied them for a moment. “Humm…there enchanted, but I’m unsure if it’s a complicated or a simple spell. I suspect those bugbears were shanghaied as replacements into this fun house.”
“That’s missing wizard Keraptis probably be making them trinkets,” Kildo added pointing with his war hammer.
“Keep them, but don’t put them on,” Kai instructed as he led the group out of the kelpie room and up the stairs out of the water. Passing the three metal hatched doors, they walked down a 50’ corridor into a circular, air-filled chamber that was 60’ long and 50’ wide in the middle. A thin membrane-like substance held bubbling liquid at bay. The floor was made of rock.
Touching his finger to the casing, Kai said, “It’s warm to the touch. Uncomfortably warm. We need to be careful, as while we can all breathe water, we can’t breathe acid water.”
“I can control it-” Kildo commented before being cut off.
“Shhhh!” Guo Gan harshly interrupted. “Do you hear that?”
‘Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack.’
The sound intensified. It grew louder and faster. Orbs, like coals from a furnace, appeared within the shadows in the distance. A monstrous giant crab burst from the darkness. It was covered in a thick, sinister black chitinous shell, with glowing red crustations growing along its two massive claws and shell. Large red eyes darted and operated independently glaring at the party. Its armored legs scuttled along the rocky ground at an incredible speed.
“Life is death. Death is rebirth. Rebirth is life. Let’s fight!” Kildo chanted, as Kai, Guo Gan, and Scomatch briefly glowed from the cleric’s bless spell.
Guo Gan leaped forward thrusting his spear. Striking the legs, the weapon’s tip failed to penetrate the crab’s thick shell.
“Char!” Charmander bellowed in a resemblance of a war cry. The familiar attempted to go around to the back side of the crab and near the water-like membrane.
“Whoa, there little fellow,” Scomatch said and snatched the flaming lizard away from the protective barrier keeping the water beyond at bay.
“Scomatch! Keep that flaming pet of yours away from the sides, or it’ll be the crab boiling us!” Kai shouted.
“We’ll handle this Charmander,” Scomatch said as he formed a small sphere in his hand and threw it at the crabstrosity. The chromatic orb struck the left claw. It detonated in a flash of fire. The crab reeled from the heat.
Casting, Kildo commanded a large spectral guarding into existence next to the crab. The guardian of faith comprised of a war hammer and shield with the blazing ankh symbol of Rigga the Mother Goddess. The guardian did a sweeping motion as the magical weapon blasted radiant damage into the top of the creature. There was an audible ‘crack’ as the shell was split up top. The dwarf then summoned a spectral war hammer. The magic weapon smashed into the creature’s chitin armor but failed to penetrate it.
The crabstrosity bashed with its massive claw, but it went straight through the incorporeal guardian of faith. The massive weight of the appendage ‘thudded’ and cracked stone as it struck the ground. One of its eyes caught movement, its right claw snapped around Kai’s body. Lifting the triton into the air. It would have cut the paladin in two if it wasn’t for his thick, breastplate metal armor, which groaned under the strain.
Seeing Kai’s predicament, Guo Gan lunged into an attack, his spear flying with incredible force. It sunk right between its front, left leg joint. Pulling the tip out, he stabbed again in the same weakened location. The damaged appendage went limp. The monk threw a roundhouse kick, knocking the flopping limb out of the way.
The huge crab thrashed wildly from the attacks. Still trapped in the right claw, Kai raised his glaive as high as he could and brought it down repeatably. The blade glowed from Kildo’s bless spell as it cracked the outer shell with the first hit, smashed through with the second, and the glaive sunk deep into the claw on the third. One of the creature’s eyes turned to the paladin as he twisted the weapon into the wound. Still battling with every ounce of his being, Kai, leaning in, took a chunk from the now exposed, white crab meat.
A beam of crackling, blue energy lanced out from Scomatch and struck the outer shell. It didn’t penetrate, but a bolt of electricity surged throughout the creature.
Commanding his spectral war hammer to continue to pound on the outer shell, it seemed to have little effect. However, the massive hammer of the guardian of faith smashed into the upper body like a hammer to a nail. It caused its legs to buckle and was knocked to the ground, but the crabstrosity quickly regained its stance. Dolorous bells then sounded around the crab, as Kildo cast, Toll the Dead. “It be dinner time, and ye be on the menu crawfish!”
Snapping with his left claw, it snatched Guo Gan hauling him into the air. The shell cracked in several places, one leg out of commission, and its right claw severely damaged the weakened creature no longer had the strength to cut the monk instantly in half.
As Kai was holding onto his glaive, he bit into the crab’s exposed meat trying to let it go. The paladin’s eyes went wide, as he looked up and saw the creature pull him towards its rotating, buzz-saw-like jaws. “Come on! I’ll just eat you from the inside!”
The crabstrosity rapidly wiggling mandibles was eager to cut the triton to bits. Kai tried to pull his glaive free, but it was stuck deep in the crab’s claw. A spear then flew straight between the creature’s two eyes. It sank deep through the already cracked external shell and into its brain. The crustation went limp and thudded to the rocky ground. Both of its claws went slack, as Kai and Guo Gan wiggled themselves free. The monk then went over and yanked his spear from the creature’s head.
“It be looking like meat be back on the table boys!” Kildo shouted in excitement as he approached the dead crab and began to inspect its right claw, where Kai had already cracked the hard shell. Taking his war hammer, he bashed it a few times. A large piece of shell came off. Taking it and flipping it over, he pulled out a few chunks of white meat. Glancing around the room, he spotted Charmander. “Oi, match-stick. I be needing you!”
“Char?”
As Scomatch’s familiar bounced over to Kildo, he went to its most distinguishing feature. A flame constantly burning on the end of its tail. Placing the shell piece, holding the crab meat over the hot flame, soon a slight faintly sweet aroma filled the air.
“There’s a chest back here!” Guo Gan called out from behind the huge crab. “It’s bolted to the floor!”
Kildo followed Kai and Scomatch. The chest was unusual as it was rectangular. However, surrounding it was a large pile of long bones, most likely from various types of humanoid legs. Kildo snorted, “Seems we ain’t be the only creatures that be liking leg meat.”
“It doesn’t appear trapped,” Guo Gan said bending down and examining the long case.
“Yeah, if ye be getting around that overgrown shrimp, a trap ain’t going to be stopping ya,” Kildo commented.
Kai opened the chest. Inside, were three large sacks brisling with gold. Two had been knocked over and mixed in were 2 amethyst-colored gems and one brilliantly cut, sapphire gem. However, the main item was an exquisite trident. The long shaft appeared to be made of ancient, solid oak with a head shining with platinum. The two outside points were masterfully designed seahorses with a piercing crest, while the middle was a spiraling horn of a unicorn.
Kai’s eyes went wide and picked up the trident and called out, “Who’s your captain now!”
“I do not have a captain,” came an eerily neutral and silky voice from within the room and then continued. “Nevertheless, you can call me Wave.”
“Who said that?” Guo Gan asked as he looked around the room.
“I think that trident said that,” Scomatch said adjusting his goggles and studying the weapon.
“Well, we be living in a world of mind flayers, so we might as well be having talking weapons too,” Kildo mocked.
Holding out the magical trident at arm’s length, Kai said, “Hello…Wave. I’m Kai.”
“Kai, I sense you are a triton and a worthy wielder, but your name is short for someone of your kind,” Wave stated. “What does the ocean call you, as much can be revealed by a name?”
“Kha!owyye` eTbg p D?hr.”
“Excellent, my lord is a noble wandering from the Western Ocean. As a second son, I see why you have traveled far from your ancestral home to make a name for yourself,” Wave stated in a soft calm voice. “We will have to spend some time together.”
“Are you aligned with any cult?” Guo Gan asked.
“No, I do not have any allegiance to any cult. However, any deity of the sea is perfectly acceptable,” Wave replied calmly.
Eyes darting to each party member, as Wave relayed personal information about himself, Kai changed the subject and asked, “How is it that you were here in that case?”
“I was trapped here by the arch wizard Keraptis.”
“Now, you are freed. You are correct, I’ve been spending my life on the surface, where the best work can be done and if you are down with that, you are welcome to come,” Kai said.
“I would like that very much, Kai,” Wave’s serenity voice replied. “After all, you are a noble paladin whose quest is to learn about the surface world to spread the wisdom of sea worship throughout the land. We will be vast friends, along with your little land-dwelling air breathers.”
“Well, they aren’t little,” Kai replied.
“They are all shorter than you, Kai.”
Guo Gan then picked up the large sapphire gem and peered closer.
“What are you looking at? It’s color, cut, clarity, or carat weight?” Scomatch asked.
“I’m checking to see if there is an old, crotchety dwarf in this gem,” Guo Gan replied. “Alas, no.”
“Here let me see it,” Scomatch reached up and grabbed with his thick fingers. Handing the gem to the halfling, he looked at it through his goggles, turned, and scanning the room, the warped image of Kildo appeared through it. “Ah! Found one!”
* * *
Closing all three metal hatches behind them from the crabby-paddy room, the party headed through the eastern door prior to the kelpie room. They were back in the 70’ long corridor with the cylinder tunnel that was spinning fast in a dizzying black and white pattern. It thumped with a daunting, heavy unnatural rhythm. The entire length was still coated with a glistening, oily substance.
“Come on Charmander. Let’s go see what’s in that treasure chest in that werewolf room,” Scomatch said and the halfling and familiar approached the spinning passageway. Stepping into it, both were immediately knocked off their feet. Charmander’s tail instantly lit the oil and the entire channel was engulfed in flames.
“Seriously?!” Kai said exasperated as he cast, Wall of Water. The waves washed throughout and extinguished the fire. The paladin then got to all fours and crawled across.
“At least you weren’t in there this time!” Guo Gan yelled.
“Fish fries are on Fridays,” Kai scoffed to himself and dusted off his hands. “Today is Saturday.”
“Stand back!” Guo Gan shouted and he took a running start and leapt through, like a corkscrew, twisting and landing on his right knee with his left leg bent.
As the monk rose from his superhero landing, the norther door burst open in front of him.
Two creatures burst out. They appeared as 7’, feral goblins with noses and claws, which were not long or sharp enough to be used as weapons, but resembled bears. Each wielded a morning star. However, they were dressed unusually. Instead of armor, each was wrapped in a wolf pelt, poorly.
“Ahooo! We’re werewolves! Join our pack! Team Jacob!”
Guo Gan readied his spear, but at seeing the steel and wooden weapon, the bugbear werewolf didn’t seem concerned. Standing straight up it didn’t even try putting up a defense. Thrusting, the non-silver spear tip, impaled the bugbear immediately slaying the faux werewolf.
A fire bolt sailed through the tunnel from Scomatch and struck the second bugbear. Its pelt ignited. The creature ‘hooped and hollered’ trying to put the fire out.
An easy target, Kai thrust with Wave. As the magical trident skewered the creature, a blast of cold from the weapon put the flames out, as well as the bugbear’s remaining life force.
Guo Gan examined the two bugbears and removed their woven necklaces.
“Come on just crawl through!” Scomatch yelled at Kildo who was still on the far side of the spinning cylinder.
“I ain’t be crawling again! I be a Hammerhand!” Kildo shouted back. Steadying his base, he stepped in. The room spun and he was instantly dizzy, but he made it 10’. Shaking to clear his head, he carefully stepped forward. It was hard to focus, but he grunted his way through. He was now 20’ in. His stomach swirled with nausea, as his eyes made it seem he was leaning hard to the right.
“Come on! Only 30 feet to go!” Scomatch called out. “You can do it!”
Kai and Guo Gan cheered and encouraged the dwarf.
He’d be a goblin-loving dwarf before he’d let this spinning tube beat him. He was a Hammerhand after all. Emboldened, he took a step. However, his footing was nothing but air and promptly fell hard on his arse.
“Aww!” bemoaned the group.
Sucking up his bruised pride, Kildo crawled the rest of the way through. They passed through the unremarkable 20’ by 20’ room with only a couple of benches and a table to the northern room beyond. Entering, in contrast, this room was nicely furnished. Fine rugs covered the floor, and erotic tapestries hung around the room where a textile worker went to great lengths to get all the naughty bits just right. Even the ceiling was painted with a summer sky, dotted with fluffy clouds. A large double bed was covered with comfortable cushions and pillows. Next to it was an end table filled with sweet-meats and numerous comestibles. If the furniture could talk, it’d likely complain about the weight of the amount of food. Their target, a large, wooden chest was also in the room, unlocked, and untrapped.
Licking and sticking a finger in the air, Scomatch said, “Yup, illusion magic. Powerful too.” He then opened the chest. It glittered with huge gems worth thousands of gold. Scooping them up he let them fall from his hands back into the box. “Now, only if we could tell if these are real.”
“You can’t tell?” Kai asked.
“Nope, as I said, powerful illusions enchant this room.”
“How about dispelling the illusion?” Guo Gan questioned.
“Oh sure. How many days or weeks do you want to stay here while I do all of this. Then we’ll have to leave and come back every day once those wright guards kick us out,” Scomatch explained.
“Right, bag it then and we’ll figure it out later,” Kai said.
“Um, I be having an easier way to be dealing with this problem,” Kildo commented. Seeing all eyes turn to him, he scooped up a handful of gems and walked into the southern, plain room. He placed them on one of the tables.
“Ah, they’re still gems. They’re real,” Kai said excitedly.
Narrowing his eyes at the paladin, Kildo began casting, Detect Magic. A fain aura surrounded the jewels. “No, lad. They be fake.”
“Wait? How do you know?” Kai questioned.
“There’s illusion magic on them.”
* * *
“Answer this riddle or you will never…Oh, it is you again. Which direction do you want to go?” The bored sphynx asked the party as they approached sloshing through the foot-deep water.
“Left passage,” Scomatch said as Charmander sat on the halfling’s shoulder.
The sphynx moved barely enough to let the party past and avoid getting wet.
The group traveled northwestwards down a 10’ wide passageway. The floor’s length was still covered in a foot of water. Guo Gan led the group as they traveled and then he disappeared.
“Guo Gan!” Kai shouted splashing through the water to where the monk was last seen.
The watery floor erupted, as the elf re-emerged. “Another pit, but not too big. We’ll have to swim across.”
Traversing the gap, the corridor turned north. It extended into darkness, but on both sides of the walls were large, copper-colored plates going down the length and spaced every 10’.
“Wait here,” Kai said and he cautiously began to walk northwards. At about 20’ he turned. “The further you go in, the hotter it gets.”
“Come on back,” Guo Gan motioned as he began to remove all of the metal from his person, which wasn’t much. He held a dagger in his hand. Stretching it out as far as he could, the monk slowly began to make his way down the hall. At about 40’ out, the group saw him place the dagger in the water for a moment before pulling it back out. He then threw it. There was a distant splash as it landed. The elf then returned.
“Yeah, no one is getting through wearing any metal without being horribly burned. Submerging the metal didn’t help cool it off,” Guo Gan replied.
“Oh, I’ve been wanting to cast this spell,” Scomatch said excitedly. Pulling out a small vile of silvery, metal liquid. He uncorked it and let a drop fall. It hit an invisible surface as the spell created a circular, horizontal plane of force 3’ in diameter and 1” thick. It floated about 3’ off the ground. “I give you Tenser’s Floating Disk.”
“Alright, boys strip put all your metal on the disc,” Kai said as he began to unbuckle his breastplate. The rest of the party followed and the magical sphere followed Scomatch as they traversed the long 70’ corridor. It emptied into a 30’ by 30’ room with a set of stairs leading out of the water in the northern part of the room.
“Alright, everyone get your armor back on and hurry,” Kai said as the group began to rummage through the pile on the floating disk searching for their belongings.
Scomatch, who waited patiently noticed movement in the southeast corner of the room. Part of the wall was opening up. “Um, guys.”
“Hold on,” Kai snapped. “Anyone see my ring of Feather Falling?”
Scomatch continued to stare at the opening. There was movement within. At least eight, emaciated, roughly humanoid creatures with an almost-hairless, decaying hide that stretched tight over their bones. Each had sharp teeth of a carnivore and sunken eyes that burned as if they were hot coals from a furnace, in their sunken sockets. The ghouls flexed long, filthy claws and fangs.
“Guys, you really-” Scomatch began.
“Hold on peck!” Guo Gan interrupted scolding the halfling.
“Fine! I’ll deal with it myself,” Scomatch snorted as he lowered his goggles. A bright streak flashed from his finger and blossomed and ignited a flaming ball of fire in the secret room opening up. Each of the eight ghouls was engulfed in the fireball. There was a mighty roar as the vortex consumed their undead flesh.
“What the?” the party said as they all turned just in time to see the undead’s burnt corpses fall off to the side like trees that had been cut down. The secret door began to slowly close again.
“Uh, thank you,” Kai said dumbfounded, as they would have been completely ill-prepared, off guard, and literally caught with their pants down.
“Scomatch the Ender,” Guo Gan said and tussled the halfling’s hair. “Well done.”
Heading up the stairs and out of the water, they rounded a corner and in front of them was an 80’ by 20’ room. At 10’ and across the room at 70’ there was a trench. Glancing down, the bottom was filled with sharp, rusty blades. Between the two trenches in the middle of the room, the floor walls and ceiling were covered with a silvery sheen.
Guo Gan gently tossed a dagger over the pit. As it hit, the blade proceeded to slide the rest of the way across the floor until meeting the edge of the other trench where it dropped in.
“Guo Gan, hammer a piton in the back wall, secure a rope around it, and I’ll just cast fly and take the other end across,” Scomatch instructed and began casting. The spell began to ramp up, then there was a ‘Phbfft’ sound as the spell failed.
“How about shooting a rope across to the other side?” Kai questioned.
“A bolt would never make it that far with the weight,” Guo Gan stated.
“Let me think about this,” Kai said.
“I be back, time to drain the vein,” Kildo stated as Kai waived him on. Turning the corner out of the room, he went to the top of the steps. The water level was even with the fourth step. He undid his trousers and relieved himself. As he stared into the water, an image of a young girl no more than six, with brown, earthy hair, in a bright yellow dress appeared. Blinking hard several times and looking again the girl remained. She smiled at Kildo. It warmed his heart and it was like a great, unseen weight had been lifted that he didn’t even realize was there. He was at peace. She then pointed at his feet. Glancing down, he quickly fumbled to cover his shame. Snapping back, the image of the little girl was gone. Searching the water-infused room she was nowhere to be seen. After a moment remembering her face, he touched his holy symbol and turned to leave when he noticed the water level within the room had risen ever so slightly over the fourth step, due to his own additions. It sparked an idea.
“I know, we can ride the disk,” Scomatch stated and then attempted to push the floating sphere, but it stopped at the edge of the pit and wouldn’t cross.
“Oi! I have an idea,” Kildo stated.
Ignoring the dwarf, Guo Gan said, “How about we build a bridge across the pit.” The monk then laid his spear across the gap. However, the far end immediately began to slide.
“Oi, I said I have an idea,” Kildo repeated.
“Get some rope and we’ll tie my spear, glaive, Qiekamis, and Wave together,” Guo Gan explained.
“Yes, but even if we get across, how are we going to walk across the room without falling to the other pit?” Kai asked.
“Oi.”
“Kildo, we are working here,” Guo Gan snapped.
Snorting, Kildo breathed in deeply and began casting, Control Water. There was ‘gurgling’ as water slowly began to run across the floor from the other room. The other party members were in the middle of arguing when they noticed. The water began to fall into the pit. A torrent then rushed in from the north. Everyone backed up as a waterfall began to pour in. Within a minute water pushed over the pit’s edge and raced across the room and into the far trench. In the same timeframe, the water level in the room itself began to quickly rise. The entire area was flooding. The party all turned dumbstruck toward the dwarven cleric.
“If we can’t be walking across and can’t be flying across. Then we be swimming across.”
Crabstrosity Room:
· 4,935 gp
· 2 amethyst gems 1,000 gp – Total = 2,000 gp
· 1 Sapphire gem 5,000 gp
· Wave - Halberd
Party Split:
· 11,935 gp / 5 = 2,387 gp
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