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Chapter 52 - The Lazy River


“Who wants sea biscuits?” Thurluna the hag announced as she pushed open the door to where the party was sleeping.

A towering spectral guardian in the form of a dwarf materialized next to Thurluna. The manifestation comprised of a war hammer and shield with the blazing ankh symbol of Rigga, the Earthmother. The Guardian made a sweeping motion as the magical weapon sped towards the sea hag. Just as it was about to land, it erupted into floating sparks. Kildo’s Guardian of Faith spell duration had just ended.

Realizing she was seconds from being crushed, Thurluna breathed a relieved sigh. “So, who’s hungry?”

“No thanks, I’ve got some Belial-infused scones,” Guo Gan said.

Taking a sniff and nose crinkling, Scomatch shook his head.

Kildo’s stomach rumbled even at the thought of eating, even these sea biscuits brought by some hideous hag. Peering closer, they were flat with a star-shaped stamp in the middle. They were slightly greenish in color, possibly algae. The dwarf’s thoughts went to the scones Odium made. He still had a few left, which he sneaked away before leaving the ship. The thought of their buttery and flakey taste made his mouth water. Then with just a little bit of jam or honey. Delicious! He hated that the tiefling followed the devil Belial and had a better repour with the crew. While he wasn’t trying to convert anyone to the teaching of Rigga, he also didn’t relish the thought of Belial’s cultist beliefs flourishing on the Sea Ghost.

“How about you triton?” Thurluna asked as she dangled the sea biscuits before him. “I made them last night while you were resting because you are going to have a big day.”

“No thank you, but we’ll bring them with us,” Kai said taking the breakfast.

“I was also able to scrounge up some potions from my vict…former guests. Three greater healing potions and one potion of healing,” Thurluna said.

“I’ll take those,” Scomatch said and he scooped up the vials.

Kildo began, “So hag-”

“Thurluna,” the sea had corrected.

“So ye be coming with us…of course?” Kildo asked.

“Oh no. That would be…inappropriate,” Thurluna said, then continued, “If you follow me, I’ll lead you to where you can find Shatterkeel.”

The party made their way back to the pool with the high waterfall hiding the portal that brought them there. The cavernous room was circular, with stairs traversing the western wall leading in and out. Stone archways led to tunnels to the west and east. A small rowboat was tethered to the stairway at the bottom.

“I hate getting wet,” Kildo grumbled as he ensured his Helm of Underwater Action was tight. Pulling down the face guard, his breath echoed within the helmet. He entered the water. It was cold and the current strong. Guo Gan pulled up his Cloak of the Mantra Ray over his head. A protective glass shielding covered his face.

Kai, being a triton, could naturally breathe underwater.

“Char! Char!” Charmander and Scomatch’s familiar barked.

“What is it?” Kai asked.

“He doesn’t want to get wet,” Scomatch said as he and Charmander got into the dingy. Untying the craft from the stairs, he threw it at Kai. Getting comfortably seated, he said. “You’ll need to pull us.”

Grumbling under his breath, the three party members began swimming westwards down an arched tunnel. They came upon a ‘T’ intersection with a small outcropping of rocks in the middle. To the south, the current increased as it went over a small waterfall. They continued westwards, having difficulty pulling the halfling-turned-goblin Scomatch and his fire-based familiar in the rowboat through the quickened, southern current.

Proceeding, the current finally began to slow about the speed of a lazy river. It started to curve around with very small islands, which were only large enough to house a single, large stalagmite. Someone had tied a large net between several of these.

Circumventing, Kildo and the rest of the group saw giant crabs hanging out by the nets. They were likely waiting for a fish or other sea life to become entangled. Their colors were red, brown, and grey. The typical chitinous shells covered their bodies. They had eyes atop stalks, which peeked out of the water.

‘Clack’.

‘Clack. Clack’.

‘Clack. Clack. Clack’.

“They be moving our way,” Kildo said in alarm as the crustacean snapped their claws together.

“Kai, tell your friends to back off,” Guo Gan said.

Holding his hand to his head, Kai spoke. “I’m tougher than you. Back off!”

“They not be listening,” Kildo informed readying his war hammer.

“I have the biggest claw around here. Leave us alone,” Kai commanded.

‘Clack. Clack. Clack.’

“Wonderful. You had one job aqua man,” Guo Gan lambasted.

“I should be striding two of these things and riding them across the water,” Scomatch scoffed.

“Listen, I can’t make them smarter by talking to them!” Kai snapped.

Waving off the paladin, Guo Gan brought Qiekamis bashing downwards. Two quick strikes smashed through the first shell, killing it. Then swinging his quarterstaff like a bat, he cracked the large pincer of a second giant crab.

A third and fourth crustacean advanced on Kai. Thrusting with Wave, its barbs easily penetrated one, skewering it. Raising it on the trident, Kai shouted, “It looks like crab is back on the menu boys!” The paladin then felt a sickening crunch. Looking down, one of the crawfish had latched one of its giant pincers around his leg. Tugging, it held fast.

Glancing, Kildo saw Guo Gan was in the same situation as Kai. The one with the cracked shell had also clamped one of its claws around the monk’s left leg. Sloshing through the water, the dwarf brought his war hammer crashing down on the wounded crab’s outer shell. Pieces flew from the impact, but it held.

Two more crabs surfaced, heading in Kai’s direction. A frigid beam of blue-white light from Scomatch, sitting in the dingy with Charmander, streaked toward one. It was flash-frozen in place as the halfling cast, Ray of Frost. It floated away like an ice crab.

Like a spear, Guo Gan thrust downwards into the top shell of the crustacean pinning his leg. The innards burst outwards.

Stabbing, Wave’s three prongs thrust into the soft meat of the one holding him, killing it. The back end of the triton’s butt smashed into the last approaching crab. It flipped over. Its legs curled in death.

Exploring the area, no additional crabs emerged from the waters. The nets webbed throughout the area didn’t seem to have a practical purpose, other than impede travel. The gaps were too large to catch fish.

“There’s something down at the bottom!” Guo Gan shouted in the southern part of the cavern.

Kildo dunked his head under the water. About forty feet down, there was a submerged door. The walls were constructed of worked stone. Red and black mosaics of tentacles flanked a set of black marble doors in the south wall. Reliefs of long, curving fangs lined the arc of the door frame.

“Bring me over there,” Scomatch said, motioning to Kai with his chubby hand, as he and Charmander sat in the rowboat.

“I’m putting a pin in that door until we explore the other side to ensure nothing comes up behind us,” Kai said.

As Scomatch began to protest, the paladin grabbed the boat’s rope and tugged it eastwards and out of the room. Charmander sitting on the halfling’s shoulders had to grip tighter to keep from falling off.

Traveling to the eastern side of the main pool, the water’s current became faster. It led into another large cavern with a thin shoreline around the circumference. Immediately seen in the middle of the cave was a large metal cage dangling from a stalactite. It was three-fourths submerged with an untold number of bodies packed inside. None were moving and all seemed dead.

Closing his eyes, Kai raised his right hand and touched his temple with the other. After a few moments, he opened them. “They’re not undead.”

Breathing out in relief, Kildo eased his grip on his ankh holy symbol. Moving through the water to get a better look, there wasn’t anything distinguishable about them, except they all had an ‘X’ carved in their foreheads. He guessed they had been dead for various periods of time, but all less than a week. The dwarven cleric gave a benediction and a short prayer.

Moving to the paladin, Kildo said, “I could be raising one of these lads.”

“A fine sentiment, but your spells may be needed in short order. Let them rest. There’s nothing for us here,” Kai said.

Moving back westwards, they returned to the first ‘T’ intersection. The submerged door was further to the west, but there was also a waterfall to the south. It was about a twenty-foot drop to the next level.

“We should go down and explore what’s to the south,” Guo Gan said.

“Getting down wouldn’t be an issue, but getting back up would be more problematic,” Kai said, holding the rope leading to the rowboat carrying the halfling and his familiar.

“I’m not getting out,” Scomatch said as the craft drifted southwards.

“I can go down and get back up easily,” Guo Gan said.

“All right, we’ll wait here,” Kai said as he beached the craft on a small outcropping of rocks and sand.

Kildo pulled a length of hemp rope from his hat of holding and added it to another coil from Kai. They tied it around the wood elf’s waist. The paladin then tied it to one of the wooden seats in the boat. He tested it to ensure the knot was tight.

“I’ll see if I can bring up some treasure,” Guo Gan and ensuring his Cloak of the Manta Ray was secure, the monk disappeared over the waterfall.

“What if he yells out or gets into trouble?” Scomatch asked. His words were nearly shredded by the rushing water over the falls.

“He’ll likely pull on the rope,” Kai answered.

“What if he pulls the boat over the waterfall?”

“Hang on for a ride.”

“We probably won’t be hearing his shouts anyway,” Kildo snorted, glancing to the south.

Several minutes passed and the rope continued to feed as Kai kept a loose grip on it. It went out slowly and seemed to drift one way and then to another.

“What that monk be doing down there?” Kildo asked rhetorically.

Reciting, as if reading from an ancient history book, Scomatch said, “And to this day, Guo Gan thought he could walk down waterfalls.”

The rope then went slack and wasn’t feeding anymore. It dropped limply in the boat. Kai, Scomatch, and Kildo glanced at each other concerned. They began to scramble when Guo Gan leaped over the top of the waterfall and splashed into the water.

“What did you find?” Kai asked, shouting.

The monk began to run on top of the water towards the group in haste. “There’s a dead body…and a Water Elemental Myrmidon.”

Behind the wood elf, a humanoid form rose from the middle of the waterfall. It was composed entirely of water and covered with thick plate armor and a full, curved horned helm. It held an algae-covered trident giving it a greenish color.

Rising from the boat, Scomatch formed a chromatic orb in his hands. Throwing it, the sphere ignited, skipping along the water like a stone blasting the front of the elemental. Steam hissed angrily.

Kildo cast, Toll the Dead. Dolorous bells sounded, but the waterfall drowned out the noise causing no harm.

Turning, Guo Gan swung Qiekamis like a bat. It smashed through the midsection, causing water to blast out. The myrmidon’s body quickly reformed. The water elemental thrust in quick succession with its trident. One of the prongs struck the monk’s side.

Wave led Kai’s charge. Lunging with the water-infused trident, the paladin’s attacks missed. It seemed the sentient weapon didn’t want to harm the water elemental, as it jerked slightly right before impact.

Another chromatic orb, but this time lightning struck the myrmidon. The bolt raced through the creature into the water.

Kildo received a slight shock, as well as the others. The dwarf shouted, “Don’t be using lightning and especially not in the water!”

The myrmidon concentrated its attack on the monk. Thrusting its trident, the water elemental scored another slash against the wood elf’s chest.

The monk squared off with the myrmidon. Striking with Qiekamis, Guo Gan then punched and kicked the elemental. The staff went through its neck. Its horned helm fell. His palm blasted its midsection. Water exploded outward as armor dropped into the waves. Focusing his chi into a devastating kick, it went through both legs. Its greaves fell apart. The water elemental’s form collapsed. Its protective metal went over the waterfall.

“Can we now go check out that door?” Scomatch bemoaned as he ceased casting another chromatic orb from the row boat.


* * *


Back in the cavern with the giant crabs, the party prepared to dive for the submerged door.

Scomatch pulled out and put on a cap and a large bubble appeared around the halfling’s head and shoulders. Charmander pushed his way into the air pocket to prevent from getting wet.

Placing his hands on his hips, Kai asked incredulously, “Are you telling me that I pulled you and the lizard in the boat throughout this cavern for nothing.”

Shrugging his shoulder, Scomatch replied, “It wasn’t for nothing. I didn’t get wet.”

Throwing his hands up, the party dove. It was forty feet down and the walls were constructed of worked stone. A red and black mosaic of tentacles flanked a set of black marble doors in the south wall. Reliefs of long, curving fangs lined the arc of the door frame. Opening the underwater entrance and traveling through, the party surfaced. To the east, loomed rows of supporting columns and an arched, triangular frame formed the access to a room above a long entrance to a structure with a covered walkway. A set of stone stairs continued eastwards through the double doors. In front of this eastern entrance and in the middle of the room was a sunken stone idol of an octopus branching with tentacles, with a circular fanged mouth.

Exploring the room, a pocket of air bubbles rumbled under the waves. Other patches formed, causing more disturbances. Something disturbed the water.

Seven fish-like creatures rose, Kuo-toa. They were five feet tall and contrasting their paunchy shape were their arms and legs, slender and lithe despite their relative shortness. At the end of each limb were broad, distended and partially webbed hands and feet. Each extremity had three main digits and one opposing digit at its end. Topping their bodies were bullet-shaped, piscine heads hosting a mouthful of sharp teeth and bulging silver-black eyes capable of independent movement to observe the situation. Unblinking, they bulged and had a crazed look to them. Their bodies were covered in gray scales with yellowish undertones. Coating their rubbery skin and piscine scales was a layer of slippery slime that gave their bodies a glimmering sheen. They donned simple clothing, or none at all, and seemed fond of accessories of bone and shells. A faint stench of rotten fish filled the area.

“Kuo-toa…Kuo-toa…Kuo-toa!” they chanted louder and louder, raising their crude weapons. Lunging, Kai parried, blocked, or his armor absorbed three of their spear attacks. Another bit Scomatch’s leg as a Kuo-Toa monitor threw monk-like punches striking the halfling mage two times.

Kildo, a ways off from the group, faced two of the fish creatures. A spear tip from one thrust into his side. It failed to penetrate his chain mail, but would leave a nasty bruise. However, the concern was the Kuo-Toa in the back. It held a staff with a bronze statue with the nude legs and torso of a female, but otherwise, a lobster-like appearance for a head and pincers for hands.

Raising its staff high in the air, it gargled, “Defilers! Kill them! Kill them all!” The priest then said, in a more calming manner, “Blibdoolpoolp demands it.”

A mystical blue, spiritual trident materialized next to Kildo and lunged. Its magical energy blasted into his chest, knocking him back. He then saw fiendish-looking fish spirit guardians flirt outwards from the Kuo-Toa priest fifteen feet in all directions. They bit and snapped at the dwarf.

“Now, I be knowing what the monsters be feeling,” Kildo grumbled under his breath.

A wave of thunderous force rolled out from Scomatch. It knocked back the two Kuo-Toa that were attacking him. The halfling’s form was briefly surrounded by silvery mist as he appeared thirty feet away towards the entrance to the room to the north.

“Time for a little fish fry!” Kai yelled as he lunged with Wave. He struck one, pulling back and thrusting again. The Kuo-Toa raised a sizeable protective shell. The trident’s prongs pierced through the shield. The weapon became stuck!

Guo Gan ran atop the water into the mists of the Kuo-Toa. The monk lashed out in all directions with feet and fists, striking three creatures.

Knowing how much damage that Kuo-Toa could do with its spiritual weapon and guardians, Kildo cast, Flame Strike. A vertical column of divine fire ignited from the heavens. The flames engulfed one and burnt it to a crisp. The fire struck three other Kuo-Toa, including the priest. Its spirit weapon trident disappeared, his concentration broken, but the wisps of his spiritual guard devil-fish remained.

The priest shouted, “Blibdoolpoolp, protect us!”

The other Kuo-Toa began chanting, “Blibdoolpoolp… Blibdoolpoolp… Blibdoolpoolp!”

A wave of healing energy washed from the priest and healed the wounded Kuo-Toa of their most grievous wounds.

Another spiritual trident began to form near Kildo. Throwing up his kite shield, the dwarf blocked the attack, as well as two other lunges from the Kuo-Toa spears. The cleric then conjured up his own spiritual war hammer. The blue, spectral weapon smashed into the back of the priest.

Four Kuo-Toa hacked and slashed their simple weapons at Kai. The paladin used Wave to block and relied on his plate to absorb any that made it through. Their crude points and edges failed to penetrate his armor.

The Kuo-Toa Monitor punched, kicked, and bit at Guo Gon, but the monk deflected each attack to the side harmlessly.

From the back of the battlefield, Scomatch formed a glowing, one-foot diameter ball of emerald acid. It streaked in the middle of the Kuo-Toa and burst. Four of the fish-like creatures gurgled innards as the backs melted from the acid. Their sizzling forms crumpled into the water.

In blinding speed, Guo Gan struck the Kuo-Toa’s Monitor’s chest, rapidly striking around its heart four times. The monk then struck in the center and twisted. Its heart stopped. The Kuo-Toa looked up at Guo Gan. “You know the sacred five-point palm exploding heart technique?” The wood elf nodded. A moment later, the Kuo-Toa’s grinned at its matter of death. Then its world went dark.

“No! Blibdoolpoolp is with us!” the Kuo-Toa priest screamed in a frenzy. Its devil fish, spirit guardians swam around Kai. Wisps of necrotic energy bit wherever they struck the paladin.

Lunging with Wave, Kai’s trident stabbed the priest in the gut. Radiant energy coursed throughout the sentient weapon. Its power blasted out the back of the Kuo-Toa. Its crazed eyes looked upwards and gargled, dying, “I join Blibdoolpoolp in the deep.”

Pulling Wave free, Kai replied, “You all are sleeping with the fishes tonight.”

As the bodies of the Kuo-Toa sank and were reclaimed to the sea, the party entered the eastern doors. Stairs lined with columns ascended. The room echoed the sounds of falling water. Relief carvings of horrific mouths, framed by a knotwork of oozing tentacles wrought in stone, adorn the slime-covered walls. The stairs led to a landing where a block of smooth stone served as an altar. Chains snaked from the altar’s base, ending in open, rusty manacles to hold sacrifices to their made-up goddess-like entity, Blibdoolpoolp. The room gave off unusual and weird energy, like they were being watched, yet nothing visible was present. It made Kildo shiver uncontrollably, but it wasn’t due to the cavern’s cold. Finding nothing of use in the room, the party began to leave. Kildo kicked at the chains but was wary of upsetting an entity and causing something to attack. He didn’t receive any response. He spat on the altar before leaving.

Continuing from the Kuo-Toa cave, the water’s current continued southeastwards before turning back westwards into another large cavern. Shorelines spread throughout, with a few stalagmites growing from the cave floor, but numerous stalactites hung from the ceiling.

As the party moved along the rocky ground, Scomatch suddenly jumped back as a large rock fell right where he stood.

“What the f…”

Another stalactite fell from the ceiling and nearly missed Kai.

Glancing at the ceiling, Kildo approached one of the fallen rocks. It wasn’t a pillar. Two eyestalks curled on the side began to move. From the back, a mollusk-like form oozed out. It was pulling itself along the floor like a snail. It was alive.

“They are called piercers. Watch the ceiling,” Guo Gan said and he bashed downwards with Qiekamis. It cracked its outer shell.

Kildo could see the innards of the creature. Its shell was in the shape of a stalactite. Casting, Toll the Dead at the thing, dolorous bells rung. The insides shook and exploded outwards in slime-like ichor.

Approaching the other one, Kai used Wave to stab the inside of the piercer. The creature issued a high-pitch squeal as it died.

The party moved into the water and avoided the shores and the numerous stalactites above them. Continuing westwards, they kept a wary eye on the ceiling above.

Sloshing through the water, Kai glanced down. He gripped Wave tighter as he said, “Careful, I think there might be snakes in these waters.”

“Eep!” Scomatch called out as he was pulled off his feet. A long tentacle entangled the halfling’s legs. Hauling the mage into the air, he was yanked westwards at a high rate of speed.

Other tentacles wrapped themselves around Guo Gan. The monk quickly twisted, turned, and snaked his way out of the entanglement.

“Life is death. Death is rebirth. Rebirth is life,” Kildo chanted as Kai, Guo Gan, and himself glowed from his bless spell. Scomatch was too far away from receiving the cleric’s blessing. The trio ran after the cries and panic of the halfling in the dark. “Weak!”

Splashing through the water, Kildo saw Scomatch dangling upside down in the air. A huge triangular-shaped cave formation with grey-purple coloration appeared like a stalagmite. A single, blood-shot eye snapped open and darted around. Its middle painfully split open to reveal row after row of sharp piercing teeth. Several tendrils grappled the mage and brought it closer to feed. It was a feared roper.

As a youth, Kildo heard stories of these monsters. Not exceptionally bright, they could stay so perfectly still that they were unrecognizable from a cave formation. Then this gave them the perfect opportunity to lash out at any unsuspecting meal crossing its path. The dwarf then felt something strike him from behind. It wrapped around his chest and face, tight.

“Not the beard!”

Running up towards the hanging halfling, Kai was about to thrust with Wave when a tentacle wrapped around the paladin from under the water. The triton was held tight.

“Ugh! Must I do everything?!” Scomatch lamented. Acid shot out from his hands and sizzled the roper’s tendril. The stalagmite’s toothy maw snapped, but burning through the entanglement, the halfling dropped, but another tentacle caught the mage and wrapped him back up.

Jumping from side to side, Guo Gan dodged the tentacles and rolled into a ball to his feet, inside the creature’s reach. Stabbing with Qiekamis, the staff jabbed the roper in the eye.

Howling like an avalanche of boulders, its tendrils retreated and went to protect its wound. Everyone was freed.

Lashing out with his war hammer, Kildo’s weapon bounced off the hardened stone. Pain from the impact reverberated up his arm.

Kai was a little more effective. Wave thrust into the roper’s shell. The stone cracked. Lunging again, the trident’s points penetrated into its softer tissue underneath.

A bright streak flashed towards the roper. The fireball from Scomatch went down the monster stalagmite’s maw. Its single eye went wide as it swallowed the spell. Even its tiny brain realized things were about to end poorly as its insides exploded outwards. The party was pelted with shards of rock and white tissue, which sizzled from the flames. It had an odor of what cooked snails might smell like.

“Gross,” Scomatch bemoaned as he flung the roper’s innards from his hands.

“You were the one who cast fireball,” Kai stated.

“You’re welcome.”

Approaching the remains of the roper, there wasn’t much left of the creature. On the far side of where the creature stood were piles of bones. They appeared humanoid and possibly by their thinner bones, Kuo-Toa that roamed too far from their shrine area. Stepping, there was a crunch under the dwarf’s feet. Not of bone, but that of a cheerful coin sound. Bending down, a number of electrum and gold pieces were mixed in with the innards of the roper. Grabbing a coin and washing it in the water, it was indeed a gold piece. It still smelled a little of the staleness of a cave, but it would still spend just the same.

“What did you find?” Scomatch asked.

“Treasure…finally.”


Roper’s Treasure Room

· 563 gp

· 230 ep

Party Split:

· 563 gp / 5 = 112 gp

· 230 ep / 5 = 46 ep


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