“Don’t ram the beholder with this ship!” Silas bellowed to Kildo as the floating spherical creature came within Kildo’s crosshairs. “It might damage the hull’s integrity.”
Grumbling under his breath, Kildo watched the beholder drift towards the Space Ghost and rise to the upper deck. They heard the thumping on Deck 3, as if the creature knocked on the hatch.
“I’ll go up to see what it wants,” Kai said, motioning to Guo Gan.
“I’ll stay here,” Scomatch indicated.
“It’d be better if I stay here too on Deck 1 in case we need to speed away from that beastie,” Kildo said.
* * *
Opening the hatch to Deck 3, Kai and Guo Gan exited. The beholder emerged over the ballista at the front of the ship toward them. A great bulging eye sat in the middle of its body and above a wide, toothy maw. Smaller eye stalks sprouted from its crown, which constantly twisted and turned to keep everything in sight.
“Greetings slaves! I require your assistance. Now, take me on board,” the beholder said. As it spoke, the smell of raw sewage stemmed from its mouth.
“Hello, I’m the former dread pirate Kai whose wrath was as massive and treacherous as the sea. Who are you?” Kai asked.
“Your name is INSIGNIFICANT! You shall be Fish 1. I require you to take me off this PLANET,” the beholder instructed emphasizing certain words by shouting them.
Kai and Guo Gan huddled together. “I’m willing to play along here for a little bit,” Kai said.
“I want to kick him into next week. He didn’t even say please,” Guo Gan replied.
Clearing his throat, Kai asked, “It is very nice to meet you, but what should we call you?”
“I’m Quaglash and you are correct. It IS very nice to meet me. You have nice manners for a slave, so I’ll promote you to lead slave, SLAVE 1.”
“Appreciate it, the great and powerful Quaglash. I must admit we are a little bit lost,” Kai said.
“How did you get here?” Quaglash questioned.
“Our memories are very short, so we would thank you very much if you could tell us where we are?” Kai asked.
“We are on this horrible, HORRIBLE sphere,” Quaglash replied.
“Why is this planet awful,” Kai inquired.
“There are clearly not enough of ME around. The Loheb consortium should have already taken over this sphere. However, FEAR NOT Slave 1 as we will prevail,” Quaglash explained.
“That should be very impressive.”
“Yes, INDEED, it will be. For now, I will rest here on this deck,” Quaglash said.
Kai replied, “Sounds good. We’ll go below and ensure everything is prepared, Kolash-”
“Quaglash, Slave 1.”
Kai and Guo Gan returned to the bridge, as the paladin said, “Turns out there’s a beholder on our ship that calls itself, Quaglash.”
“Get that parasite off my ship,” Scomatch blasted.
“What he be wanting?” Kildo asked, turning in the captain’s chair. He had to adjust the helmet that attached him to the ship.
“It wants a ride off this world,” Kai explained. “According to Quaglash, it lacks the number of beholders in this world. I wouldn’t think he’d want more of its kind, but maybe it’s looking for mates?”
Guo Gan said, “We can go up and deal with this Quaglash like he deserves to be dealt with, or we can let him sit up there.”
“Is there somewhere he wants to go specifically?” Scomatch asked.
“Be taking that map up there to that creature and be figuring out where we be at,” Kildo said.
* * *
“Oh, Quaglash, the great and powerful. We are trying to navigate this ship to the place that is agreeable to you, but at the moment we are unclear where we are at, but we have this map,” Kai said and unrolled the space chart on the ground. “Do you think you can tell us where we are and then we’ll know how to bring you in all of your glory to your next destination?”
“Slave 1, we need to leave this planet and it’ll be several days to the Loheb consortium. There instructions will be clarified,” Quaglash instructed.
“Yes, but we need to know where we are and know where you need to go to solve the problem. Where are we on this map?” Kai asked.
Quaglash hovered over the map. Several of the eye stalks darted over the chart for a few moments. “It’s INACCURATE! I don’t recognize any of the names.”
“Do you see where we might be now?” Kai asked.
“Without proper names, how would I know where we are? Are you INSULTING me!?”
“No, it may be in a slave language that is beneath you,” Guo Gan explained.
“Yes, very possible. That must be it.”
“That likely being the case, is there anything your gargantuan intellect might recognize or be familiar with?” Kai inquired.
“I have not the remembrance of where all the spheres are in relation to each other. I’m designed to bring my kind here,” Quaglash explained.
“Do you have a name for the insignificant, bug-infested place you find yourself on now?” Guo Gan asked.
“EXCELLENT inquiry. You can be called Slave 7. This is the third planet of this sphere.”
Huffing in the circular argument, Kai asked, “Where would you like to go then?”
“Tone, Slave 1. Slave 7, there must be a more INTELLIGENT slave on board. Go find them and bring them to me,” Quaglash ordered.
“I’ll go with Slave 7, as he makes a lot of mistakes,” Kai said as the pair left back down the hatch.
* * *
“Oh, no! Just because I’m not from this Sphere doesn’t mean I know anything more about beholders. I’d rather not go up there to talk to that thing,” Silas said, holding up his hippo-like hands and shaking his head.
“All right, all right. I think we are all agreed that we need to ask Quaglash to leave the Space Ghost peacefully,” Kai said.
“That’s not likely to happen. Be taking 9 of 5 with ye. He be just hanging out on Deck 2 in the cargo hold. He might be proving beneficial,” Kildo ordered. As the group departed the bridge, he turned to Johnny One Bags and said, “Oi, ye keep me apprised of what be occurring up there. Don’t be getting involved. Ye get me.”
“I get ya, captain,” Johnny said, saluting sharply and departed.
* * *
“By his size, I see you brought a more intelligent slave with you,” Quaglash said as he floated closer to 9 of 5. His central eye darted up and down the flesh golem. “Now, explain to me where we are GOING!”
“Fire bad?”
Clearing his throat, Kai said, “Quaglash, we have had a discussion and it turns out-”
“SILENCE, Slave 1! I’m clearly talking to a more intelligent being,” Quaglash belittled. “Fire bad sounds like a good destination. I will wait here while the pilot commences.”
“No, you don’t understand. It turns out you suck and we’d like you to leave immediately,” Kai stated.
Quaglash's eye stalks began to writhe. The central eye focused on the paladin and rose above the group. Its razor-sharp teeth grinded on one another. The beholder then burst into uproarious laughter. “That is HILARIOUS! I enjoy your humor Slave 1 and that’s why I made you the leader. There will be REWARD A PLENTY when we leave this planet.
Breathing deeply, Kai continued, “Here’s the thing. We are leaving-”
“EXCELLENT, let’s be on our way.”
Holding up a hand indicating for Kai to wait, Guo Gan asked, “Great and powerful Quaglash, what are we looking for once we leave this Sphere?”
“We are looking for an EXIT point.”
“I see. I noticed you enjoyed breaking stuff while you were here,” Guo Gan said, motioning to the destroyed town of Ova.
“Some FOOL put a magical school on top of the portal. While I removed the defenses, the assault was a disaster as there was only a limited amount of time,” Quaglash said.
“Why is that, oh mighty Quaglash.”
“When the planets aligned during the Great Conjunction, the Loheb consortium would have been able to breach through where hundreds of us were waiting to come through. However, all of the breaches were sealed. Now, we’ll have to start all over again, but we will be VICTORIOUS!”
“So, your alone here,” Guo Gan inquired and turned to Kai. “Well Slave 1, what are your orders, as Quaglash doesn’t want to leave the ship?”
“I will leave the ship once we leave the Sphere. This ship is too small for all of my MAGNIFICENCE!”
Kai then gripped Wave tightly. He walked, slightly tipsy, slightly off-balance, one foot in front of the other towards the beholder. The gate was rough, tough, and rugged. Staring at Quaglash’s main bulging, blood-shot eye and gaping tooth-filled maw smelling of excrement, he said, “A big mouth, don’t make you big. Furthermore, since your kind hasn’t learned to respect others, it’s time you learned to respect your betters.”
* * *
Kildo sat with his chin resting on his hand and elbow on the captain’s chair. He breathed heavily, bored, waiting for his crew to kick that beholder off his ship. He didn’t care being strapped in the contraption and would rather be up top trying to get information out of that creature about where they were in the cosmos. He had a good ship at his command, the entire universe before him, but nowhere to go.
A bright flash ignited in front of the Space Ghost, followed by an explosion. It rocked the ship.
“What the nine hells be going on?!” Kildo bellowed.
From the top of the stairs leading down to the bridge on Deck 1, Johnny One Bags shouted, “Captain, they started fighting the beholder. Kai stuck it good with his trident and Scomatch threw a fireball at it! Guo Gan started hitting it like a punching bag!”
“What about 9 of 5?” Kildo yelled back.
“The flesh golem is standing there limp. He’s in some bright ray from the beholder’s central eye,” Johnny replied. “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s it, be getting me out of this thing. I’m going up top,” Kildo said and he began to tug at the helmet connecting him to the ship.
“No!” Silas warned. “If you take that off, we’ll crash to the ground. You are the only thing keeping the ship active and flying!”
Kildo heard the running of feet coming back.
“Kai got hit with an eye stalk that shot out some necrotic black ray, but he’s fine! However, Scomatch got hit by another and fell over!” Johnny called down.
“He be dying?”
“I don’t think so. He was snoring. Guo Gan was trying to wake him up.”
“Be getting back up there! Tell me what be happening!” Kildo ordered.
“Yes captain!”
More muffled shouting was heard from above on Deck 3. Kildo listened to the deafening roar of Quaglash. Another bright flash followed. The Space Ghost was knocked horizontally by, very likely, another Scomatch fireball. The ship’s hull strained and metal squealed under the onslaught.
“They’re going to destroy this ship,” Silas bellowed, cowering as the battle raged up top.
“Captain!”
“Johnny, Report!”
“Guo Gan got hit by a ray from a stalk. He’s turning into a garden gnome! Scomatch also got hit! He’s all shriveled up like a raisin! I think he’s dead! Charmander vanished! It’s just Kai up there! They’re losing the battle!”
“Silas and Johnny, be getting up there and be helping that triton!” Kildo ordered.
“No need, I managed to kick Quaglash off the ship, by killing him,” the voice of Kai said. The paladin came down the stairs. A trail of slime-like, yellow goo was dripping from the trident, Wave strapped to his back. He was carrying the shriveled form of the halfling Scomatch in his arms. “We won, but at great cost. Guo Gan is stoned and Scomatch is breathing impaired.”
“Good job lad. I’ll be taking it from here. They’ll be back right as rain before ye be knowing it,” Kildo said.
* * *
“Oh man, I will never forgive Kai for this,” Silas the hippo complained as he was scooping brain matter from Quaglash from Deck 3 on top of the Space Ghost.
“Kai saved us and this ship. I know we are cleaning up from his actions, but we should forgive him. He’s a holy paladin, after all,” Johnny One Bags replied.
“I don’t even know what a paladin is, so that doesn’t mean anything to me. I doubt he’s ever had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of his actions. In fact, he should be the one on brain detail, not me,” Silas bemoaned.
* * *
Meanwhile, on Deck 2…
“How ya be feeling Guo Gan,” Kildo asked as the dwarf passed the monk in the cargo deck.
“Still a bit stiff,” Guo Gan replied. “I’m looking for Scomatch.”
“Be checking the cargo hold.”
Checking the storage area, Guo Gan ran into Kai. The triton and 9 of 5 were arranging the supplies and ensuring they were secured.
“How are you feeling Guo Gan,” Kai called out.
“Still a bit stiff. Have you seen Scomatch?”
“I think he’s in the crew quarters on Deck 1.”
Guo Gan descended the stairs to the bridge deck. Moving through a small lounge area, he opened the door to the sleeping quarters. There were five hammocks and he saw Scomatch staring out the rear port hole. “You said you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, it’s just a precaution, but it would be better if someone was here just in case,” Scomatch said.
“Just in case of what?”
“Just in case things go sideways and I need something subdued.”
“Subdued? You’re the mighty Scomatch. Nothing a fireball or two couldn’t manage, I suspect.”
“Yes, but not with this.”
“With what?”
“Shhh. I can feel him coming.”
As Guo Gan was about to speak, the entire area turned into a molten, desolate place. It was as if they were looking at another plain of existence—a world of smoke, ash, and flame. In the center sat a bipedal, dinosaur-like Pokémon with an appearance similar to that of Scomatch’s prior familiar, Charmander. However, he had a much darker red skin color, a larger body structure, razor-sharp claws, and a tail burned with fire. A shadow of a much larger creature appeared behind it for the briefest of moments. The room then shifted back to reality.
“My familiar…Charmeleon.”
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