“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” Scomatch called out as he reached for the scroll, which was part of the treasure recovered from the Klown tent spelljammer. “It must be important, as it was so well hidden.”
“Ye be watching yourself. That thing most likely be a trap by them clowns to make more klowns,” Kildo said as he winced as the halfling mage unrolled the parchment and began reading to himself.
“Well, what it be saying?” Kildo asked.
Clearing his throat, Scomatch began reciting the text.
There was one who said unto me that the Universe was going to cause me to tremble
That I am not the sharpest cutting implement in the storehouse
She had the appearance unto me as a fool
With her finger and her thumb
In the frame of a Gamma upon her forehead
Behold, the ages begin coming and do not cease from coming
Fed unto the axioms, and I fell upon the earth and ran
It was not acceptable if not to live for the sake of pleasurable things
Your mind increases its wisdom, but your heart increases its foolishness
A great amount to do, a great amount to see
Therefore, there is no difficult problem if we take the streets of the backside
You will not know if you do not go
You will not shine if you do not glow
Behold currently! You are entirely a star child!
Begin your power! Go! Laugh!
Behold currently! You are a master of the music!
Begin your singing! Acquire your wages!
All that sparkles is gold!
Comets alone shatter the frame!
“What does that mean?” Scomatch said, scratching his head.
Looking over the halfling’s shoulders, Guo Gan said, shrugging, “Maybe it’s the motto the klowns live by.”
Kai entered the Space Ghost’s bridge with the rest of the command crew and said. “All the items have been stored away. Your order’s captain?”
Kildo looked out the main viewing screen. The klown spelljammer flames were dying, leaving a hulk of a wreck to drift in space for all time. As the last fires died, so did the craft as it faded into the night. The dragonfly class spelljammer, the Space Ghost, fluttered past leaving it behind. He turned toward their navigator spacefaring-hippo passenger, Silas, and Odium, the cultist of Belial, strapped into the spelljammer ship. “We make for the Rock of Series and be finding our captured crewmates.”
Using the coordinates obtained from the Rock of Bral dockmaster, the Space Ghost crew came upon an asteroid belt. Floating rocks spanned the entire sky before them. Maneuvering around the outskirts, the directions took them to a particular rock just outside the belt and much easier to reach.
Approaching their destination, another spelljammer ship came out from the asteroid field. It resembled a sea-going sailing ship, but its front resembled a hammerhead shark, with a flattened hammer-shaped front section. There were several sailors seen along the deck.
“Ahoy! State your business!” came a magical voice that resounded throughout the bridge.
As all eyes turned to him, Kildo straightened himself and said, “We be looking to acquire some new crew, spend some coin, and drink beer.”
There was a pause for several heartbeats. The voice then answered, “All righty then. You are free to dock at the Rock of Series. No stealing, no biting, and no fighting…and enjoy your day.”
“There, that be easy,” Kildo said, dusting his hands. “Odium, be bringing us into port.”
As they approached, the Rock of Series wasn’t as large as the Rock of Bral, but still good sized. There was a town on the top side with a lot of greenery but also a bottom side, which appeared more desolate. Several ships were docked, but there wasn’t any sign of Captain Vanifer’s flaming ship or any mind flayer nautiloid vessels. The tiefling maneuvered the Space Ghost toward the docking ports and aligned the ship’s top deck for disembarking.
“Silas and Johnny One Bags be filling up our air and top off our food and water supplies,” Kildo said. Then glancing at the tiefling Odium, he whispered, “Be ensuring there be enough ingredients for pumpkin scones.”
Kildo led Kai, Guo Gan, and Scomatch from the Space Ghost toward the dockmaster. An orc with a sloping forehead, a jutting jaw, prominent teeth, and a bulky build. Stepping in the creature’s way, the dockmaster snorted as he stopped.
“What’s da name uv yer ship?”
Thinking for a moment, Kildo lied, “The Lightning Axe.”
“Kaptain name?”
“Uh, Captain Dito Hammerhand.”
“Wot iz yer business on da rock uv seriez?”
“I be looking for Captain Vanifer. Has she been in port recently?” Kildo then pulled ten gold, which he slipped toward the dockmaster.
The coins disappeared in the orc's hands as he said, “Kaptain Vanifer ‘as not been ere ‘n awhile. Maybe five or six months since we’ve last seen 'er. She komes around on 'er own terms. Why are ya look'n for ‘er?”
“She mistook some of our me crew as slaves and I want to be purchasing them back. Where would she be selling them,” Kildo asked.
“Somewhere.”
Grumbling, Kildo exchanged another ten gold to the orc.
“Da slave block. Annuver auction iz scheduled for tomorrow. Usual place.”
“Who should I be asking for to see if me crew be sold there?”
“Slavemaster Icosa. You’ll find ‘er 'der.”
Traveling through the town, the crossroads was built out of the asteroid rock. Most of the buildings were made of stone. The Rock of Series had a prosperous economy, mainly supported by pirating, selling stolen goods, and a robust slave trade. Kildo followed the people's flow, leading to a large stage in the middle of the town. It more resembled a musical theatre. Actors and actresses were rehearsing on stage. To the right was a gated exit with a chalkboard with people with clipboards.
Moving closer, Kildo saw sixty listings of various races, goblins, humans, and dwarves, along with their sex. Humans had the highest numbers of all the races, between 10 and 50. However, at the top of the chalkboard, ‘Githzerai 2,000’ was written.
Kai moved toward a human with a clipboard. Clearing his throat to gain his attention, he asked, “I see that 2,000 is written next to the Githzerai. Is that gold?”
“Plat. Always plat for slaves. Are you like from the backwoods or something?
Kildo approached the pair, “Of course he ain’t be from the backwoods. He’s a triton. He be from the backwaters. No be telling me quick where be Slavemaster Icosa.”
Staring down at Kildo, the human asked, “Do you have an appointment with her? Who should I say is calling.”
“Dito Hammerhand.”
“I’ll let her know you are here.”
The party waited for several minutes when the human returned with a much shorter female. As they walked across the theatre stage and looked down at the party to the ground below. She was maybe five feet tall and weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet. However, there was no mistake with her dark grey skin and straight, snow-white hair that she was a drow. She resembled other elves in many ways, but shorter and thinner than other elves. She wore a spider-spun long white dress of superior quality, accentuating her body's curves and smoothness. Her body was wiry, athletic, and attractive. Though her alluring appearance could be used for seduction, her beauty would most likely cause the other surface races to show greater leniency and turn a blind eye to her deeds.
As the drow approached, Icosa gave each party member a passing glance before centering on Kildo. “I understand you are here representing Captain Hammerhand?”
“Aye, we be looking fer some of me crew that be mistakenly taken by Captain Vanifer. I be wanting to be purchasing them back. I need to be knowing who she sold here,” Kildo said.
“Things like this do happen. However, we don't share that information due to the procurement nature of property passing through our auction house. Like we wouldn’t share that information for any good sold by Captain Hammerhand either. You understand,” Iscoa said and began to turn to leave.
Seeing that the drow wasn’t buying that Kildo was his brother Dito, Kai said, accessing a deep, inner, and molten smolder and shooting it through his eyes into an undeniably alluring stare, “Lady Iscoa.”
“Oh, I like you,” the drow said, motioning to Kai, who hopped onto the stage.
“I apologize. I like to provide my associates some initiative to handle most of my business, but I should relay our interest here. We had persons in our employment that Captain Vanifer took into her employment. We are just interested in knowing where they are now. If you can look at the books and if there is anything you can do to facilitate that, it would be very beneficial to our cause,” Kai said, taking a pouch of coins and gently placing it in her hands and seductively closing her fingers around it.
Holding the triton’s touch for a moment before pulling away, Iscoa said, “Give a list of your crew you are looking for to my assistance and I’ll see if I can put you in touch with a list of the captains they were sold to and where they are. Also, I’m assuming you are staying at the usual place?”
“Uh, yes, but you can also send word to our ship,” Kai replied.
After providing a list of the crew’s name, race, and sex, the party returned to the Space Ghost. The entire Rock of Series seemed to be a pretty seedy place. They saw Silas, their hippo passenger, signing and motioning for the crew to bring the last supplies aboard.
“Silas, what ye be knowing about the other ships docked here?” Kildo questioned.
The party began to walk the docks. All of the ships were larger than their dragonfly class spelljammer. There were no mind flayer nautiloid ships, but being new to spelljamming, he wasn’t familiar with any of the vessels.
Silas pointed as he spoke. “There are a lot of pretty standard ships here. However, that neogi spelljammer does stand out.”
The ship appeared like a large spider-shaped vessel. It was built from a dark crystalline material. It had three red, circular windows that served as the spider's eyes.
“What is the nine hells be a neogi?” Kildo asked.
Silas said in a hushed tone, “A neogi resembles a foul cross between a wolf spider and a moray eel and is known to commonly ride umber hulks. Reviled and feared, the neogi are a race of ruthless slavers and plunderers who think nothing of eating their enemies, servants, and fallen comrades. Often dressed in yellow-themed fashion, they are rampant pirates and raiders and referenced as the ‘Proud Boys’ of the known sphere. However, one truth remains constant, the neogi are a hateful, xenophobic race with few friends.”
“Is that an asteroid in port?” Kildo asked, nodding toward a stone-shaped vessel with its surface pitted and scarred with craters with a small portion flattened, allowing it to land with the dock.
Rubbing the stubbly hair on his hippo chin, Silas said, “I don’t know what that big rock is. It could be dwarves. Could be beholders. They do like slaves. It could be vampires, as no sunlight could get in. It might even be a secret klown ship. It could be anything.”
“Do you see any githzerai ships? I wonder if there are any floating around town?” Guo Gan asked.
“They are not big into slaves. Maybe check some of the taverns,” Silas replied.
“Thank ye Silas, report back to the ship. We be checking out the taverns,” Kildo said. The party checked a couple of taverns, but there were no githzerai or much else of interest except sordid pirates.
The third tavern, from the outside looked nasty, depressing, and unfriendly. Stone made up most of the building's outer structure. It was hard to see through the curtained windows, but the ominous atmosphere from within could be felt outside. Entering, they were welcomed by thick air. The bartender was half sleeping and made no effort to acknowledge their presence. It was dusty inside. Squared stone beams supported the upper floor with light fixtures attached to them. The walls were decorated with pirate memorabilia, though it looks like it hasn't been maintained or cleaned for years. The tavern itself is almost completely abandoned. The few people inside probably work less honorable operations, but whoever they are, it would be best to stay as far away from them as possible.
“Well, well, well. Look who it is. The crew of the Sea Ghost. Come have a seat.”
Turning, a lone humanoid figure sat at a corner table. Heavily muscled, his skin was blue and covered with sea barnacles all over his body. The same growths acted as his hair. He held a mug of beer in his right hand, but his left hand was missing. In its place was a massive crab-like claw with serrated pincers. His only clothing was a shell-like skirt that covered his waist and legs. It was Captain Shatterkeel.
The party approached glaring at the blue cultist leader and sat around the circular table.
“I didn’t realize you were spelljammers,” Shatterkeel said.
Breaking the ice, Guo Gan said, “We’re looking to take a break after all the god stuff.”
“Well, it’s all your fault, and you have no one to blame but yourself. If you had listened to me, the world would be covered with water and we’d be sitting on a throne of coral,” Shatterkeel continued. “What brings you out here?”
“We’re looking for Captain Vanifer and trying to find our missing crew,” Guo Gan said.
“Ah, she’s a right nasty piece of work. It’s good that she didn’t win, but also too bad she’s still alive.”
“One thing we agree upon,” Kai snorted.
Guo Gan asked, “Do you still have the ship you stole from Silas?”
“Who?”
“The hippo-looking creature you threw off the ship before you left your underground cavern,” Guo Gan described.
“Ah, yes. Well, I needed to be off the planet quickly. I didn’t need him, but I needed the vessel to add to my space fleet,” Shatterkeel explained.
“You have a space fleet?” Kai questioned.
“All you need is two ships, and you have a fleet,” Shatterkeel clarified. “So, back to your crew. Captain Vanifer took them when you were away.”
“Yes, have you seen any of them?” Guo Gan asked.
“No, but if they aren’t here, they still might be with her. However, getting to her base is a bit tricky, but I think you and I could come to an agreement,” Shatterkeel said.
“Like trying to figure out who set you up to kill our captain, Quint Halfbeard?” Guo Gan said.
Shrugging, Shatterkeel said, “Lot of double-crossing going on. However, I know how to get to her base.”
“There be the rub. What ya proposing?” Kildo asked.
“I’m glad you asked my dwarven friend. I need something retrieved and you have a good propensity to breaking into places.”
“We be listening. What do ye need to be having retrieved?”
“I need an impossible shovel and as it happens, one is located on the Rock of Martek. There is one person who knows how to get there, Badr Al-Mosak, but he took it to his grave,” Shatterkeel said.
“Then how we be getting it, if he be dead?” Kildo questioned.
“He left a map to the Rock of Martek and there is one way to get it. You have to retrieve the map from Badr Al-Mosak’s tomb. Get the map, travel to the Rock of Martek, and get me the impossible shovel. In return, you’ll have the location of Captain Vanifer’s hideout,” Shatterkeel said.
“Where is the tomb of Badr Al-Mosak?” Guo Gan inquired.
Shatterkeel slid a piece of paper toward the monk. “Those are the coordinates. It’s about two or three days' travel from here.”
Taking the slip, Guo Gan asked, “In case we encounter an issue where we can’t come back here. Is there another place we can meet? How about a coordinate in space?”
Scoffing, Shatterkeel said, “I’m not going to wait in the middle of space to see if someone shows up. You have a Scomatch with you. I’m sure he can figure out how to get a message to this bar or me. Now, are there any questions?”
“Yes, Dito Hammerhand frequents this rock. Where he normally be staying when he be here?” Kildo asked.
“Humm, I do recall there was a place he liked. It’s on the tip of my tongue,” Shatterkeel replied, clicking his oversized pincer for a hand.
Grumbling, Kildo pulled out ten gold and slid it toward the barnacle-ridden pirate.
Shatterkeel took the coins in his other hand and said, “Ah, yes. He likes to stay at the penthouse suite at the Hungry Horse.”
* * *
“Message for you captain,” Johnny One Bags said, poking his head into the situation room aboard the Space Ghost. The following day, the party gathered to discuss their next course of action when their crewmember entered. As Kildo opened the note, it had the following.
Mind Flayers purchases:
2 – Humans
1 – Dwarf
1 – Tielfling
Beholder Kwaaglash purchase:
1 – Human
“That’s CragEar, Chutney Vic, Red Fred, and Odium,” Kai said.
“The only other human missing is Imago…and a beholder has him,” Guo Gan snarled.
Turning the piece of paper over, there was nothing else. Kildo said, “We still be missing Duarte, Ruhk Glitterstone, Squat Hank, and Gyne. We also be missing Dexy and Connie from the Midnight Runners we be rescuing from the Spiral on the air elemental plane.”
“We might want to pay the auction house a visit to see if maybe they might not have sold,” Kai said.
“Good idea. I wanted to get a closer look at the Githzerai,” Guo Gan said.
Over the next couple of hours, the action block sold humans, goblins, and even a few dwarves, but none were from the Sea Ghost.
“We should purchase some of these slaves and then free them,” Kai whispered to Guo Gan.
“No, we should save our funds for the Githzerai,” Guo Gan replied.
“That ol’chestnut. The trolley problem,” Kildo snorted.
The slavers saved the best for last. A couple of bruisers brought out a male githzerai in chains. He was tall and an emaciated-looking humanoid, but showed a muscular body. He had pale yellow skin with greenish and brownish tones. His skull was long and angular, with deep-set eyes, a flattened nose, and long pointed ears. He wore his black hair in braids. He struggled against his captors.
“We can pool our platinum all together and purchase the githzerai,” Guo Gan said.
“I’m in,” Kai replied.
“I not be in,” Kildo said. While he felt for all the slaves, bankrupting the party deep in space didn’t seem like a good idea. Even if they had purchased the githzerai, they’d free him a moment later and have nothing to show for it. Even if the creature decided to stay on as crew, such a prize might be worth stealing or painting a target on their backs that there might be more treasure aboard the Space Ghost. The risk far outweighed any reward.
The bidding reached five thousand platinum before being sold. Kildo felt more righteousness in his decision. The paladin and monk looked aghast at him.
An iron-barred cart pulled up and the githzerai was shoved in.
“I’ll follow them,” Kai said, as his plate armor would not make a stealthy approach easy.
“Good idea. You distract them, and I’ll follow from the shadows,” Guo Gan said.
The auction concluded Kildo and Scomatch headed back to the Space Ghost, but the cart was heading in their general direction toward the shipping docks. He saw the driver direct the cart into the neogi spider-looking spelljammer vessel. The vessel's doors closed tight.
Folding his arms across his chest, Guo Gan said, “It would have been easier if we purchased the githzerai.”
“Or use the platinum to purchase some of the other slaves,” Kai added.
Kildo shook his head. “It be the trolley problem.”
The monk and paladin looked at Kildo and asked, “So, how do you solve the trolley problem?”
“It be simple. Ye don’t get on.”
Treasure
· Solving the Trolley Problem
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