Three Years Ago
“Kildo Hammerhand at last. I’ve heard your community has had a spot of bother lately. Series of bad luck that seemed blamed on the Hammerhand family, your family.”
Kildo eyed the ranger as he placed an elaborate bow on the table of Mylar’s Tavern and sat across from him.
“Water please,” the human said as a barmaid passed. Setting his pack down, he removed a small box. Opening it, he took a pot filled with dark, rich dirt. He removed an acorn and planted it.
“What of it?” Kildo snorted, eyeing the pot and then to the ranger. He took a pull from his beer mug.
“I’m here to help,” the human answered. The barmaid returned with a cup of water. The ranger then watered the buried acorn.
“Bah, by the time I be trusting a human they already be on their deathbed. Besides, I don’t be seeing how ye can be helping,” Kildo said.
“I know you are seeking to rectify the cause of your dwarven community’s curses, believed to be caused by the deeds of your brother, Dito Hammerhand,” the ranger said.
Kildo grumbled under his breath at the mention of his brother.
“He used to be a companion of mine, but that was an age ago. He caused my forest to burn. It was under my protection. Now, it’s gone. That is, all but this acorn and a spot of dirt. I’ve been tracking him down. I owe him an arrow or two. I heard he might be in the Atheos Archipelago. Possibly, on an island called Scarlet Peaks,” the ranger explained.
“That place be overridden by pirates and slavers…” Kildo said and paused. It’s the exact place where his brother would thrive. Clearing his throat, he continued, “So, we both be looking for me brother. It don’t matter, how we be getting there. Me understanding of rangers, like dwarves, we ain’t be water-strong,” Kildo snorted.
“True, so I’ve booked you a meeting with a captain, Quint Halfbeard, of a merchant ship called the Emerald Eel. He’s a dwarf, like yourself.”
“That be a bold move, human,” Kildo said, eyeing the ranger and taking another drink of his beer. He didn’t have the faintest clue on how to right the ‘curses’ of his community other than to put more good in the world than Dito did evil or stop his brother. Not having any other options, maybe he’d stick with this tree-hugger for now.
“All right ranger. If one dwarf can sail the seas, then this dwarf can be too. What be ye called?
“The name is Khyron. Khyron Pathfinder.”
***
“This is Major Warwick Blastimoff,” Commodore Krux presented the giff to the rest of the party.
Looking around, Guo Gan asked, “It is great to meet you, but our understanding is that we were to meet up with an armada here.”
“Yeah, about that. There have been some unfortunate developments. The efforts to create a coalition of the willing have been unsuccessful. One party offered to send 2,000 monkeys to help, but I’m unsure if they were sent or arrived. It’s a bit fuzzy. Maybe that was meant as a joke. The various captains fought among themselves on who would lead, but there was no agreement. So, at the moment, the armada is on the verge of collapse. However, there is one person, Vocath, that might be willing to help out, but he’s a merchant…and these merchants have a high price.”
“Bah, ferget him. What abut Princess Xedalli leading?” Kildo asked.
“Um, I’m unsure if they will follow the princess of the Xaryxian Empire, that destroyed their world would be the best way to proceed,” Warwick replied.
“It seems these astral elves drank everyone’s milkshake,” Kai said.
“However, as fortune has it, Vocath is in this system. My ship is heavily damaged, so we’ll need to take yours,” Warwick said.
“So, that be yer Galleon ship,” Kildo thumbed to the one-hundred and thirty feet craft. It had three full masts and at least three decks to hold a few hundred people. The multiple sails and complex rigging would take at least a hundred people to operate proficiently.
“Aye.”
“Where be the rest of yer crew?”
“Crew,” Warwick said, scratching his hippo-like chin in confusion. “I flew it here by myself. However, the landing wasn’t very smooth, and I crashed into a tree. As the saying goes, any landing you can walk away from.”
“Why are we trusting this giff?” Scomatch said, grumbling under his breath. “This guy is lame.”
Kai turned to Guo Gan, “What do you think?”
“You’ve always been the leader. Make the decision,” Guo Gan replied.
***
Two Years Ago
“Get Zzee and Guo Gan back up!” Khyron ordered.
“What ye be thinking I be doing?! I be getting them up, but Thousand Teeth be keeping knocking them back down. I be telling even Rigga be getting frustrated with me,” Kildo shouted back. “I be out of healing spells, did ye run out of arrows or something?! Be shooting that blasted thing!”
The titan crocodile roared in pain as Khyron’s arrows continued to pepper the beast.
Kildo braced himself. The creature clamped down. Its jaws stopped cold. His shield was holding. He could feel the massive bite force bearing down. The strength of the beast was immense. It took every ounce of his dwarven grit to hold his ground. It was pushing him back!
“Kai, now!” Khyron yelled.
The paladin used the distraction and ran straight towards the back of the beast. Leaping on it, he ran a short distance and dove around the neck of the legendary creature. His glowing longsword plunged into its thick hide. Radiant light exploded from the weapons and out Thousand Teeth’s mouth. The beast twisted and turned, trying to knock off its assailant. Like riding a mad bull, Kai clung on with his legs and held onto his longsword's hilt as an anchor.
Khyron launched arrow after arrow into Thousand Teeth. The creature’s eyes burst in ichor and gore, as the ranger’s arrows rammed up to their turquoise feathered tips.
Kai shouted, “Die you son of a b-!”
There was a sickening, sucking slice as the paladin’s longsword went through the base of Thousand Teeth’s leathery skull. Radiant light burst from the creature in all directions as the paladin smote its ruin upon the swamp. The legendary Thousand Teeth’s echoing death-bellow traveled across the entirety of the swamp.
“Ah ha!” Kai roared in excitement. “Khyron! You’re plan worked! If it weren’t for your tracking, we’d be looking for Thousand Teeth for days, weeks.”
“I only pointed the way. The team did all the hard work. Now, let’s get healed up, head back to Queen Threz, and prepare to leave Kyrox Island and return to Scarlet Peaks. Something tells me these lizard folk won’t bother to water my sapling.”
***
“Are we sure Warwick is who he says he is?” Guo Gan asked Commodore Krux.
A day out from the moon of Aruun, Kildo stood next to the monk as he questioned the giff. It seemed strange that even the best sailor could sail a spelljammer, let alone one as large as a galleon, without a crew. Something wasn’t right. He understood why Scomatch didn’t want to bring Warwick aboard, but Kai overruled him.
“Yes, I have no doubt that is Major Warwick Blastimoff,” Krux said, pointing with his chin.
“Did he be having a crew?” Kildo asked.
“Hum, I don’t remember him having any crew,” Krux answered.
“Kildo, can you cast something on Warwick to remove any influence he might be under?” Guo Gan questioned.
“Aye, but not without his knowledge,” Kildo replied. He then got an idea. “Oi! Warwick. Ye be needing to go through decontamination protocol.”
The giff lumbered over and nodded to Commodore Krux in acknowledgment.
“Now, this won’t hurt a bit, but might tickle,” Kildo said as he cast, Greater Restoration. Warwick glowed for a moment before the light faded.
“Anything?” Guo Gan asked.
Kildo shrugged as he shook his head.
“Ya got anything else you can cast?” Guo Gan asked.
“I be having one thing left,” Kildo said and cast, True Seeing. He scrutinized Warwick and appeared like any other giff he had seen. However, he saw something slither just over his shoulder. It was a massive, cancerous growth of white flesh. Multiple, long, pallid-skinned necks emerged from the mass into a humanoid shape with teeth and black pits for eyes. Long tongues, like snakes, slithered out from its sharp-tooth maw. The monster was in the middle of the crew as they went about their duties in the hull. They completely ignored the creature. It was then that Kildo saw what remained of a leg being swallowed by one of its deformed heads.
“See anything?” Guo Gan asked.
“Don’t you see it?” Kildo questioned as he darted his eyes toward the creature.
“What? The crew? Is something wrong with the crew?” Guo Gan inquired as he gripped Qiekamis tighter.
“No, something is eating the crew,” Kildo whispered to the monk.
“I don’t see anything. Who got eaten?”
“I…I can’t remember,” Kildo replied.
“What’s going on here?” Scomatch said, coming up to the pair.
“Kildo is saying something is eating the crew,” Guo Gan explained.
“What, where?” Scomatch asked, looking around. “I don’t see anything.”
“It be over there,” Kildo answered, tilting his head toward the creature.
“There’s nothing but the crew,” Scomatch said and then continued. “The nine hells, he has space dementia!”
“I don’t have space dementia,” Kildo replied.
“That’s exactly what someone with space dementia would say,” Scomatch retorted.
***
One Year Ago
“We don’t have any leads on whom to choose to replace the evil god of corruption, Nusen, the Dark One. I think you need to open that book on page one and start reading until you find something useful to our situation,” Khyron said.
“It doesn’t work like that. Every time you open it, it opens to a new page,” Scomatch informed. “However, I doubt any of these entities have plans for civic improvements. In fact, my roommate found it and must have opened it. Returning, it was open to the page of Slaanesh, and he had disappeared,” Scomatch said.
“All right. Let’s try a few pages. You are in my death-zone, so I’ll keep you covered. Kai will maintain a bless on you and Kildo can cast Enhance Ability to keep your mind sharp and help resist any influences the book might pose,” Khyron said.
Reading and mumbling, Scomatch said, “It’s the legendary water-beast Tromokratis. It wants to drown the world and then drown it again for good measure. The next page indicates how I can contact Tromokratis.”
“Swipe left,” Guo Gan replied.
Scomatch flipped a page and read, “It’s Hythonia, the scaled Medusa Queen. Her favorite color is green-”
“Swipe left.”
More pages flipped. “Let’s see. The next one is called Co…caine Bear. Whatever cocaine is? Oh, it wants to destroy the world…and do more cocaine,” Scomatch said.
“Left!”
Pages flipped. “Ogremoch, the evil earth elemental lord-”
“Left!”
“All right, we aren’t getting anywhere. We’ll do a few more pages,” Khyron said, breathing heavily.
“They can’t all be evil creatures,” Kildo scoffed.
The smell of rotten eggs and brimstone emanated from the next set of pages. The creature was gigantic and bloated with corruption with foul-colored, leathery, and necrotic skin.
“Ah, more evil. Nurgle the Lord of Evil, Pestilence, and Rotting Decay. Epithets include the Plague Lord, the Lord of Pestilence, Papa Nurgle, Father Nurgle, oh, Grandfather Nurgle,” Scomatch read.
“Ugh, left,” Kai said.
“He, I think it’s a he, actually fits the profile,” Scomatch said.
“Left!”
A gentle breeze turned the pages and landed gently. A picture of woods with a deer in the forefront and then, a camouflage image of an ancient green dragon began to appear. Its crest started near its eyes and continued down its spine. It was a peaceful scene.
“I be remembering that dragon—the Dragon of the Woods. Them hobgoblins at the Sacred Stone Monastery be worshiping it. They be calling her the Great Green Dragon. Queen of the goblins. She be not part of a cult, but they be saying their Queen be a very powerful entity,” Kildo said.
The room grew quiet for several moments.
“I like her,” Khyron said, looking at his sapling oak in the corner of the room. “At her core, she’s a protector of the forest.”
“Boss, you know, as soon as we summon her, we’ll be fighting a green dragon,” Scomatch said.
“Then be ready Scomatch Thunderfire. Bring your acid. Rain your fire,” Khyron lauded.
“What about my other spells?” Scomatch asked.
“Baby spells.”
“Yeah, they are baby spells,” Scomatch nodded and agreed. “Let’s do this.”
***
Present Day
“It be among us,” Kildo said harshly.
“I believe him,” Guo Gan said.
“I don’t. It’s space dementia,” Scomatch replied.
Guo Gan yelled, “Everyone, stop what you are doing. Take something you have and place it on the ground in front of you. Do it now!”
The crew of the Space Dragon looked confused, but each began to put something in front of them.
“Do you still see it?” Guo Gan asked.
Kildo nodded. “It’s right in the middle of the crew. The nine hells! It just ate someone. Didn’t you see it?”
Scoffing, Scomatch said, “I didn’t see anything. Not that a few less grifters wouldn’t be a bad thing. Besides, there was no yelling, no blood, no struggle. Who did this monster ‘eat’ anyway?”
“It ate…I don’t remember,” Kildo stammered.
“See, space dementia!” Scomatch snapped.
“Whose glove is that on the ground?” Guo Gain asked, pointing.
The crew turned. There was a solo leather glove with no one around it.
Guo Gan dashed into the interior of the ship. Entering the galley, he saw Odium painting a portrait. A fresh batch of pumpkin scones was cooling on a table.
“Flour!” Guo Gan cried.
Odium pointed to a shelf behind the monk.
Grabbing two five-pound bags, Guo Gan shouted, “Grab flour Odium and follow me!”
Returning to the hold of the Space Dragon, Guo Gan asked, “Where?”
Kildo pointed toward one of the crew members, but he couldn’t remember who it was as the monster’s heads consumed him. There was no reaction from anyone in the room.
Four bags of flour from Guo Gan and Odium launched into the air and landed with a heavy thud.
“Nothing is there. I can’t see it?” Guo Gan asked
“Like I said, space dementia,” Scomatch said, folding his arms in satisfaction.
“Look at the floor,” Kildo said.
On the ground, something had blocked some of the flour from landing. There was an almost neat circle of the white powder where Kildo motioned where the monster stood. Guo Gan and Scomatch came to the same realization. Something was there.
Kildo pulled out his wand of magic missiles. Three magical darts of energy slammed into the monstrous creature. “Follow the path!”
Guo Gan began whirling Qiekamis in the air and shouted to the crew. “Everyone, get out now!”
Scomatch ordered, “Charmander, let me know if you see where that monster is eating people?”
The familiar shrugged his shoulders and shrugged. “Char?”
“Useless,” Scomatch berated. The halfling began casting, Fireball. There was a low roar as the spell ignited in the middle of the room and sculpted around the crew.
For less than a second, the outline of a mass of cancerous white flesh with multiple, long pallid skinned necks with deformed heads sporting mouths of sharp teeth and black pits for eyes. Long tongues, like snakes, slithered out from its sharp-tooth maw, shrieking in pain.
“The nine hells!” one crew member shouted as there was a mad panic out of the area.
As the last member exited the room, he asked, “Why are we running again?”
“Go!” Guo Gan shouted.
“Where’s…I forget…our leader?” Scomatch yelled and paused as his brow creased in confusion. “I guess Kai?”
“He be on the Last Breath expecting the crew there!” Kildo replied and began casting, Toll the Dead. The sound of dolorous bells resounded around the creature, but he didn’t know if it was affected or not. Realizing that no one else could see the abomination, he cast, Spiritual Weapon. A spectral blue war hammer appeared next to the creature and bashed its bulbous flesh. He commanded the weapon to stay right on top of it.
The heads of the hydra-like monster turned toward the dwarven cleric. It knew that Kildo could see it. The creature’s heads shrieked at him. Chaotic waves of energy washed over him.
“Odium! Shut that thing up!” Guo Gan yelled.
“By Belial, where!?” Odium asked, bellowing.
“On Kildo’s spectral war hammer!” Guo Gan shouted.
The tiefling began casting, Silence. A twenty-foot radium bubble encompassed the room. Everything went quiet, even though the shouting and actions of combat were occurring. There was no sound. However, the spell’s effects caused the creature to appear. It was a mass of cancerous white flesh. Five long, skinny necks and deformed heads, like that of a hydra, protruded from the mass. Long tongues slithered out from a razor-sharp-toothed maw. It appeared to be shrieking at being revealed. Behind the monster, it dragged two flaccid heads. Each was peppered with turquoise feathered arrows along its length.
Now able to properly see the monstrous mass, Kildo bashed his war hammer and commanded his spiritual hammer to attack. Blubbery flesh was pulverized.
The false hydra’s five heads screamed at Kildo, but Odium’s spell nullified their chaotic energy. Thank Belial, he thought.
Twirling Qiekamis, Guo Gan rapidly smashed his quarterstaff into the creature’s mass with both ends. One of the hydra’s heads attempted to bite the monk, but he kicked it away with a powerful, spinning hook-kick.
The undead vampire captain of the Last Breath, Gargenhale entered the fray and missed lunging with an epee. Dexy, of Dexy Midnight Runners, also charged in and slashed with a longsword but missed too.
The slender and sleek high elf Gyne flew between Gargenhale and Dexy. Shorter than either of them, she might have weighed 100 pounds soaking wet. Her coloration was pale, with straight blond hair touching her shoulders. A simple golden tiara donned her forehead. Sharp pointed ears poked through her straw-like hair. Her clothing was simple and dark green with gold trim. It fit her snugly, made of excellent quality, and free of any tears, snags, or holes. A stern expression was forged on her chiseled face. Piercing ice-blue eyes stared hard at the false hydra. Wielding a pair of scimitars, she leaped forward, swinging the blades into a veritable wall of blades. Puss and ichor exploded from the monster.
Kildo watched Gyne’s masterful display. As the hydra attempted to bite her, she ducked low, as her scimitars sliced suddenly upwards and completely severed a head. However, another shape, an image, her true image, outlined her lithe form. It was that of a large female lion with massive, feathered wings but with Gyne’s face. Then, he recognized her without the fancy headdress and brass baubles. It was the Gynosphinx they encountered in Keraptis’s House of Fun under the Scarlet Peak Mountain, where the dwarves on the island were mining silver. He remembered the sphinx was gone when they retreated from the dungeon. She had followed them.
Scomatch attempted to cast, but as he opened his mouth, the silence spell prevented his casting. Frustrated, he smashed his Staff of Fire into the false hydra. There was a sickening snap as the halfling broke the neck of a head. The damage wrought was just enough, and the false hydra’s body deflated.
As Odium dispelled his silence spell, Kildo, hearing noise again, said, “Thank Rigga, the Earthmother, this thing be found, and we be killing it before it did any damage or ate anyone else.”
“What? Who did it eat?” Guo Gan asked.
“It be eating…well, maybe it didn’t eat anyone. I can’t remember,” Kildo answered, scratching his bearded chin in confusion.
Examining the false hydra, Guo Gan pulled out one of the dozen or more turquoise feathered arrows and said, “It looks like its last victim was some sort of master archer and put up one hell of a fight.”
“We need to be dumping this thing overboard. Just looking at it be making my stomach churn. I’d be liking nothing more than be forgetting this beast,” Kildo said.
Over the next hour, the crew pulled, dragged, and at times removed limbs, to get the smoted remains up to the top deck.
“One…two…what the hell?” Guo Gan said as he knocked over and nearly fell over a large pot filled with an oak tree sapling. “Where in the nine hells did that come from?” Snoring in annoyance, the monk began again. “One…two…three!” The group heaved the false hydra’s corpse over the side of the Space Dragon. Guo Gan moved over to pick up the overturned pot.
“Don’t touch that!” Scomatch called out to the monk. “Dwarf, that True Seeing spell still going?”
“Aye.”
“Is that tree a monster or anything?” Scomatch asked.
Squinting at the downed oak tree sapling, Kildo said, “Nope, just be a tree. Why it be on our ship?”
Guo Gan said as he began scooping up dirt back into the pot. “One of the crew must have brought it with them and stuck it here to get some light.”
“Who?”
“Um, I don’t be remembering. If no one be claiming it, just be tossing it overboard,” Kildo said, as he watched the corpse of the false hydra float into the vastness of oblivion.
Shaking his head, Guo Gan said, “Or…we can just plant it on the next planet we land on.”
“It be working for me,” Kildo replied and went below deck to return to his room and get some rest, the smell of pumpkin scones drew his attention. Entering the mess hall, he ran into Odium. He stood before a painting canvas.
“What ye be doing?” Kildo asked.
The tiefling nodded toward the piece. “I like to paint, as well as cook. I’m doing a portrait painting of the command crew.”
Looking over the tiefling’s shoulder, Kildo didn’t want to admit it, but Odium had done an adequate job of capturing the likeness of Kai, Guo Gan, Scomatch, and even himself. However, there was a fifth person. A human ranger with dark hair, a green tunic, leather pants, and a blue cloak. He held a bow with a quiver of turquoise arrows over his back.
“Odium, are ye daff or just can’t count. There just be four of us unless ye be thinking ye be human,” Kildo scoffed.
“No.”
“Then who in the nine hells be that ranger ye be painting?” Kildo asked.
“I don’t remember.”
Treasure:
· I forgot.
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