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Chapter 87 - Get Ready to Rumble

“Just for good measure, I’m going to light up that mass of cancerous growths,” Scomatch informed as he cast, Immolation.  As the magic raced out from the main deck of the Space Dragon to the floating corpse of the fake hydra, fire wreathed its form.  It burned as the fatty tissues fueled the fire long after the spell’s effect faded.

“Hot pumpkin scones anyone!”  Odium announced as he emerged from below.  

Taking one, Kai approached the giff Commodore Krux and questioned, “So, this Major Warwick Blastimoff was supposed to be gathering an armada to fight the Xaryxian Empire of astral elves, and it seems that he failed in that endeavor.  Does that about sum it up?”

Sighing heavily, Krux nodded. 

“Right,” Kai said and moved toward the giff, Major Blastimoff.  “So, what happened to your armada?  Did the false hydra eat them all and follow you to our ship for dessert?”

“I don’t think so, maybe. I don’t remember ever having a crew,” Blastimoff replied. 

“This guy is lame,” Scomatch commented, thumbing at the giff. 

“I did gather captains of various ships.  I do remember they quickly descended into in-fighting and left. However, all is not lost.  There is someone who could bring them all together.  Vocath.  Everyone owes him money.  They will all come if we can convince him to call a meeting.”

“So, he has a grudge against these astral elves too?” Guo Gan inquired.

“I don’t know, maybe.  However, I expect there will be a price for his services.  A high price,” Blastimoff explained. 

Kai moved over to Silas and folded his arms.  “Do you know this Vocath?”

“Yes, everyone knows Vocath.  He’s hard to miss, being a blue giant and all.” 

“Wait, what?  He’s a giant?” Kai asked.  As Silas nodded, he continued, “Do you think it’s a good idea to pay this Vocath a visit?”

“I think whatever you think is a good idea is a great idea,” Sila replied enthusiastically.

“All right.  Major Blastimoff!” Kai shouted.   Gaining the giff’s attention, he continued.  “Can you take us to Vocath.” 

“Yes, he’s on his planet,” Blastimoff responded. 

“Odium!”  Kai bellowed, motioning to the tiefling.

“Yes, captain.  Did you want to make a motivational speech about our victory over the false hydra?  Maybe how I cured Kildo of his feeblemindedness.  Maybe how by me casting my silence spell brought the creature out of the shadows so we could defeat it.  Maybe how-”

Cutting the tiefling off, Kai said, “No, I need you to put down the scones and make the best possible course for the planet…”

Finishing Kai’s sentence, Blastimoff said, “Vocath.”

“He named the planet after himself?” Guo Gan asked.

Blastimoff nodded.

“I like this Vocath guy already,” Scomatch said. 

 

***

 

After two days of travel, the Space Dragon approached a small but shattered moon.   From the bridge, Kildo saw a hovering citadel floating above the surface.  Massive green emerald crystals extended from the bottom and possibly how the fortress stayed aloft. There were several places for large spelljammers vessels to dock.  In the center was a massive circular arena-like structure.  On another level was a tower with a pointed roof. The doors were large, indicating they were made for giants to pass.  Different races were interacting with each other.  Some he recognized, and some he didn’t.  Merchant shops, including farmer’s market stalls, were set up everywhere.  Pairs of guards mingled through the crowds.  

“Commodore Krux and I can arrange a meeting with Vocath,” Major Warwick Blastimoff said as the Space Dragon docked. 

“Great, the command staff will accompany you.  The rest will stay-” Kai began.

Interrupting the paladin, Krux said, “I would suggest bringing Princess Xedalli, as she might be able to provide some additional influence.”  

Exiting the Space Dragon, the party, along with the two giffs, Commodore Krux and Major Blastimoff, and the astral elf Princess Xedalli, approached a large, circular building and intercepted a pair of guards.

“I am Major Warwick Blastimoff, and I am seeking an audience with Vocath.” 

The two sentries looked at each other and then back. 

“No,” one said, scoffing, and they proceeded to continue on.

“Stop,” Princess Xedalli commanded.

“Yes?” the two guards turned.

“I am Princess Xedalli, daughter of Emperor Xavan of the Xaryxian Empire.  I demand an audience with Vocath immediately.”

The sentries eyed the astral elf and sighed.  One touched a tattoo on his wrist and said, “There’s a Princess Xedalli with her entourage, and she wants to meet Vocath.”

After a few moments, the reply came.  “Show them in.”

The group followed the guards inside the spherical dome, up a series of stairs, and into a grand throne room.  Entering two massive double doors, tremendous braziers encompassed each of the twelve white columns and lit every part of the throne hall.  Long banners were draped on the walls.  An elaborate chandelier hung from the domed ceiling.  Gigantic Stone statues looked down at the party as they entered.  An azure rug ran from the doors to the throne covered in gilded patterns with armrests glittering with gems in the light.  Sitting on it was a twenty-foot tall, blue-skinned giant in fine, thick robes flanked by guards.  He was whispering to someone at his side.

Vocath smiled and said, “Princess Xedalli.  You are indeed far from home.”  He turned his attention to the group and continued, “I must say your influential circle has…diminished.  So, who are you, and what do you need?” 

Clearing his throat, Kai said, “Greeting Vocath.  I’m the dread pirate Kai.  My wrath is as massive and treacherous as the sea.  I’ve traveled through space and time.  We are looking to form a coalition of the willing and build an armada to aggressively negotiate with the Xaryxian Empire to reverse the crystalline seeds and vines they planted, which are draining the energy of our world and freeing our planet from their blight.  It was suggested that your great influence would significantly help our cause in bringing a group of fracture captains together.”

“Enough!” Vocath yelled, scoffing.  The giant leaned back hard on his throne.  “Doesn’t anyone in this sphere have any etiquette?  What are you offering me?  Nothing?  It’s all me, me, me.”  He then leaned closer.  “However, I’m bored.  I’ll arrange a meeting for you with the faction captains.”

“That’s great,” Kai said. 

“All you have to do is entertain me,” Vocath said.

“How?”

“Survive three battles in my arena, with no resting in between.  Simple,” Vocath explained. 

“I will rise to the challenge, as no man can beat me in a contest of arms,” Kai replied. 

“A haughty boast and one I suspect is true.  However, you won’t be fighting a man,” Vocath said, waving his hands.

Kildo felt an immense pressure build around him as the throne room winked out of existence.   The command staff, minus the two giffs, Krux and Blastimoff, and Princess Xedalli, appeared in a circular arena.  It was filled with sand, rocks sticking out, and broken weapons scattered about.  A high platform was to the east where Vocath sat, overlooking the arena sands, and eagerly watched.  He saw Major Warwick Blastimoff off to the side with a concerned look.  In addition, Princess Xedalli was also present next to Vocath.  She didn’t seem to have any cares, and it appeared that she had a glint of excitement in her eyes. 

A massive gong resounded and echoed across the colosseum.   

Massive arena doors opened to the northwest.  Two, four-armed giants emerged.  Like hill giants, they had tan skin, black hair, low foreheads, stooped shoulders, and thick muscular limbs.  They wore an assortment of leather bracers around their wrists and ankles and leather and fur over their waists, but not of great quality or make. Each brought boulders to throw.

“Brah,” one said to another.

“Brah!” the other replied, motioning to the party.

Guo Gan sped across the sand and rammed Qiekamis into the first one’s groin.

“Brah?” squeaked the giant as all four hands went to his nether regions. He fell to his knees, stunned.   

The northwest section of the arena erupted in flames, sculpted around the monk, as Scomatch detonated a fireball on top of the four-armed giants.   

“Life is death.  Death is rebirth. Rebirth is life,” Kildo chanted as he cast, Bless.  Kai, Guo Gan, and Scomatch glowed momentarily as they received Rigga, the Earthmother’s blessing.

Like throwing a fastball, the other giant launched two boulders at Scomatch.  The first just clipped the top of his hair, as the other smashed in front of the halfling, sending shrapnel into the mage.   

Following the monk, Kai lunged with Wave.  All three prongs penetrated the dazed giant’s chest. 

“Brah?” the stunned giant said to the paladin.

A moment later, Guo Gan’s quarterstaff smashed into the creature's forehead.  There was an audible crack as blood, ichor, and brain material burst out. 

Rugging sand from his eyes, Scomatch formed a chromatic orb of bubbling, green acid and threw it at the remaining giant.  The creature raised his leg, and the ball impacted the arena wall.  It sizzled as the liquid ran down it.

Standing on one foot and motionless, Kildo cast, Toll the Dead.  Dolorous bells began to ring around the giant’s head.  The dwarven cleric cast, Spiritual Weapon.   A spectral blue war hammer appeared next to the giant and smashed into its shin. 

Roaring in pain, the giant grabbed Kai’s four limbs with its hands.  The paladin was pulled taught and threatened to be pulled out of their sockets at any moment.

“A little help!” Kai yelled. 

Qiekamis glowed from Kildo’s bless spell as he bashed the weapon into the giant.  He then used the quarterstaff like a pole and vaulted himself into the air.  His foot smashed into the groin of the giant, stunning it.  It dropped Kai. The sandy ground cushioned his fall.

Another fireball from Scomatch arched toward the giant.  Flames engulfed the creature as the spell was sculpted around Kai and Guo Gan.     

Kildo cast, Toll the Dead, again, but the roaring flames of Scomatch’s spell drowned the dolorous bells out.  His spectral war hammer smashed into the giant’s meaty thigh, causing minor damage.   

Recovering and picking up Wave, partially buried in the sand, Kai unleashed the Wave motion gun.  All three prongs sunk deep into the giant’s chest.  Massive radiant damage coursed up the weapon’s length.  Ripping the trident free, the giant crashed face-first into the arena’s sand.  The gritty material turned a maroon red as it absorbed the creature’s blood. 

“Excellent!  Excellent!” Vocath’s voice boomed.  “Congratulations, the first round goes to you! Now, it’s time to test your mettle and face the might of the Thri-keen!”

The arena doors to the northeast opened.  Six insect-like thri-kreen emerged, which resembled a bipedal, seven-foot-tall praying mantis.  They had exoskeletons over their entire bodies with six limbs protruding from their thorax: two for walking and four for arms, ending in four-fingered claw-like hands holding double-bladed polearms.  Their insectoid heads had two black, multi-faceted compound eyes, two small antennae sprouting from the top, and a complex jaw structure with large, sharp mandibles. The thri-kreen wore little to no clothing or armor. Instead, they had simple leather belts, harnesses, or slings to hold their weaponry and only as much as they needed. They didn’t wear any adornments. Five were sandy-brownish in color, with one a jade-green.

Two immediately charged Kai.  The paladin reacted and thrusted with Wave.  It struck the insectoid.  One of the trident’s barbs cracked its chitin.  Their weapons twirled and slashed into the paladin’s armor. 

Three thri-kreen snapped multiple shuriken-pointed blades at Kildo.  While his shield blocked most, two smashed into the dwarf’s plate armor.   

Bypassing the thri-kreen gladiators, Guo Gan ran straight for the green insectoid.  The monk bashed Qiekamis into the creature.  However, subsequent swings were easily dodged by the mage-like insect.  It was learning Guo Gan's moves. 

“Charmander, attack!”  Scomatch roared. 

“Char!” Charmander quipped.  The mage’s familiar ran to the nearest thri-kreen, latched onto its exoskeleton leg, and began biting. 

Scomatch began casting, Crown of Stars.  Seven motes of light began to orbit the halfling’s head.  He grabbed one and threw it at a thri-kreen.  It smashed into the insect’s chitin armor and exploded in radiant damage. 

Following the mage’s attack, Kildo cast, Flame Strike. A vertical column of divine righteousness ignited from the heavens.  Fire engulfed three of the thri-kreen.  The flames killed the one struck by Scomatch’s crown of stars spell.  It began screaming as it was cooked alive.  He then commanded his spectral war hammer toward Kai.  The weapon smashed into the back of the thri-kreen, attacking the paladin.

The insectoid distracted.  Wave glowed from Kildo’s bless spell as one of its prongs struck the thri-kreen.  The other two slid off its armor. 

Two of the humanoid insects slashed with their make-shift polearms.  The thick blades crunched into the paladin’s armor.   

Additional shurikens from the thri-kreen flew at Kildo.  The dwarven cleric blocked all but one, which smashed into his plate armor.

Guo Gan twirled Qiekamis over his head, but the jade thri-keen went invisible before he could attack.  Swinging his quarterstaff, the monk struck nothing but air.  Snorting in annoyance, Guo Gan charged the thri-keen attacking Kai.  Bashing, Qiekamis struck and cracked its chitin armor.   Ichor burst forth, killing the creature. 

A stabbing pain shot through Kildo’s brain.  It felt like the worst headache he’d ever had, turned up to eleven.  Wincing at the intense ache, he saw the green mage-like thri-keen appear in the southeast corner, staring intently at him as its insect-like arms touched his temple.

A sudden ringing noise painfully erupted around the green mantis as Scomatch cast, Shatter.  Cracks appeared in its exoskeleton.  The creature doubled over in pain.  A star-like mote of light streaked over the insect's head and into the arena wall, missing. 

Scoffing, Scomatch called out, “What good is your goddess!?  She’s supposed to make my spells hit!”  The halfling then ran to the northwest to distance himself from the remaining four thri-keen.

Grumbling at the blaspheme, Kildo’s stomach churned with nausea.  The halfling’s spell did little in the way of helping his pounding, psychic bolt induced migraine.  Channeling Divinity, he sent Rigga’s healing energy into Kai and then a portion into Scomatch to let him know Rigga was a forgiving goddess.  Seeing the green mantis continue to send psychic bolts his way, he moved across the sand to the southeast to engage the insectoid.  He commanded his spectral weapon to attack the thri-keen to the north next to Kai. His headache was nearly blinding as his spiritual weapon missed.  He was hit a moment later by another thrown shuriken.   In intense pain, he was barely able to maintain concentration on his bless spell. 

Kai engaged the insectoid by him.  Thrusting with Wave, the thri-keen parried the trident.  It then glowed from the cleric’s bless spell as the far right point rammed into the creature.  Radiant damage coursed along the length and into the insectoid. 

Following Kai’s attack, Guo Gan bashed Qiekamis three times rapidly into the thri-keen.  Cracks appeared and splintered like a spider’s web across its chitin armor wherever the quarterstaff struck.  The monk’s blood fury tattoos ignited along his arms and absorbed some of the creature’s life energy.  

Flames erupted around Kai and Guo Gan as Scomatch’s fireball was sculpted around them but ignited their thri-keen opponent.  It shrieked as its insides were cooked.  Steam poured out of any cracks.  It then crumpled to the ground dead.  The halfling plucked a star-like mote of light from the crown of star’s spell orbiting his head.  He flung it at one of the remaining three Thri-keen.  The insect avoided the spell’s effect. 

“Your goddess’s blessing is even more useless than my familiar!” bemoaned Scomatch. 

“Char…” Charmander lamented as the flame familiar stopped chewing on a thri-keen’s leg and slumped across the sand. 

“Watch yer blaspheming!  I don’t be hearing anyone else belly-aching about receiving her blessings,” Kildo snapped.  He sent his spectral hammer toward the far thri-keen to the east, throwing shurikens at him.  The weapons smashed into the creature’s chest.  Casting Toll the Dead, dolorous bells rang but didn’t seem to affect the insectoid. 

Lunging with Wave, Kai’s trident’s prongs stabbed into a thri-keen.  It squealed as ichor burst from its shattered chitin armor.  Ripping the prongs out, the creature crumbled to the sandy ground. 

There were two remaining thri-keen.  Guo Gan dashed to the gladiator, throwing bladed stars at Kildo.  Qiekamis came bashing down from overhead and crushed the insectoid’s head.  A gooey, paste-like substance burst out. 

All that remained was the green mantis in the southeast corner.  As it prepared to attack, a chromatic orb filled with acid from Scomatch burst across its front.  Its exoskeleton armor sizzled from the corrosive spell. 

Kildo was there a moment later.  His war hammer came crashing down in a horrific motion. Weakened by the acid, the blunt weapon went straight into the thri-keen mage.  The insectoid instantly dropped as the dwarf smote its ruin on the sands. 

“Well done!  Well, Done!  That was exciting!” Vocath bellowed, clapping.  “Now, prepare yourself for your final battle.  The Terror of Doomspace!  Muhahahah!” 

In the middle of the arena, a tiny space guppy appeared.  It was wagging its tail in a friendly manner at the party despite it being a literal fish out of water. 

“Right, one fish fry coming up,” Scomatch said as he gripped his Staff of Fire. 

“Oh, forgive me.  My mistake.  Wrong button,” Vocath said and then continued.  “Ah, here we go! Now, the Terror of Doomspace!  Queen Gorma!”

A gargantuan, multiple-segmented centipede with a massive jaw and sharp pincers that could snap a person in half burst from the sands in the western section of the round arena.  Part of its enormous body surfaced in the southern section, with its tail emerging in the east.   It had dozens of legs moving in synch with rigid, beast-like fur going down the spine of the monster’s carapace.

Snorting, Kildo said, “I preferred the guppy.”   


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