The band dashed down the stairs to find that a new group of animated skeletons assaulting the church from outside had breached the doors and entered the vestibule. Mayor Drago, Goldsneezser, and Gregor were fighting back the monsters, but the odds were against them. The band watched as Goldsneezer was struck down, and the undead invaders injured both Drago and Gregor.
Just then, two of the acolytes of the church emerged from the stairs to the crypt, shouting, “The dead are rising below!” The already terrified congregation wailed in fear.
“Zounds!” exclaimed Scomitch in his rich baritone. He quickly worked a spell to outline two of the undead in faerie fire. Aldi advanced to heal Goldsneezer and hit a nearby skeleton with a starry wisp. Ary leaped over church pews to take up position before the steps to the crypt, firing arrows at the skeletons as he did so, but to no effect. Wynter advanced and smashed a skeleton with a slingstone.
A pitched battle against the invading skeletons ensued, but the band, the Mayor, Gregor, Goldsneezer, and the acolytes managed to destroy the undead. Once again, the skeletons turned out to be the skeletal remains of elves. The band closed the church doors and dragged several pews over to barricade the doors from opening again.
“I guess we’d better check out the crypt?” ventured Aldi. Ary grunted in assent and walked over to the stairs with an arrow notched in his bow.
“Really?” Wynter sighed, “How is this even part of the gig?”
“Tuin galadrim,” replied Ary, motioning to the bones scattered across the church entrance.
“I know,” said Wynter quickly, her eyes cast down as she grabbed her pack and headed to the stairs.
Aldi looked at Scomitch and half-whispered, “He said, ‘those were elves,’ I think he’s talking about the skeletons.”
“Well, of course, he was, my boy!” shouted Scomitch, who was also fluent in Elven. “Bloody damn desecration by gum. Forward to the crypt!”
The band proceeded carefully into the church's lower level and found an acolyte preparation room, a storage chamber, dormitories, and a study room—all normal in a religious establishment. The band also discovered a chamber decorated with religious symbols and iconography of the many disparate faiths in the area.
“Odd, this,” said Ary.
“A refreshing ecumenical perspective!” announced Scomitch.
The band proceeded to a large nearby chamber used to ferment mead.
“Mmm, honey wine,” said Aldi.
“What’s honey wine?” asked Wynter.
“Miruvor-o glís,” said Scomitch, “if my pronunciation is correct.”
“Close enough,” said Ary, turning to Wynter, “Never mind about that, it’s for the villagers.”
Proceeding through the undercroft, the band found four sets of scale mail, a shield, four maces, and four war hammers. Upon inspection, the shield was revealed as magical, which Scomitch adopted as he was the lone band member who used a shield. The armor and weapons were transported to the acolytes in the church above to aid in the defense.
The band then entered the crypt, a large catacomb chamber. The walls bore recesses that served as open tombs for the faithful of centuries past. Some of those interred here had lain here for centuries, but others for far less.
As the band moved carefully through the crypt, they heard the clicking of bony feet on stone, and suddenly, more animated skeletons dressed in faded acolyte robes were advancing. Ary was the first to react, destroying one of the undead with his scimitars. Wynter joined the battle, damaging another of the horrors with her staff. Scomitch commanded Fortissimo to harry one of the skeletons, which the loyal owl did, its wings beating to not only the opening drum beat but somehow also the underlying bass tabs of the title track of the superstar American glam-metal band Kiss’ 1977 album “Love Gun.”
After a struggle, the band and Fortissimo ended the skeletons and began investigating the crypts. They discover a prominent tomb of someone named “Alin D’Qua” covered in dust. The plaque on the tomb was difficult to read, but the band managed to decipher the message: “An adventurer lost in a land long ago found his way to another world where he discovered everlasting life.” Notably, next to the tomb was a hole in the crypt floor, and a finely crafted grappling hook cleverly designed to look like a spider remained hooked to the edge of the hole, attached to a fibrous, silky rope descending into the darkness below.
The band carefully opened the tomb and found the skeletal remains of a humanoid figure dressed in leather armor, with a staff at its side and a thin book covered in fine leather in its hands. The band then noticed that the skeleton also bore a wooden stake standing where the humanoid heart would have been.
“Great Ceaser’s Ghost!” exclaimed Scomitch, “That’s a foul Nosferatu if I’ve ever seen one!”
Wynter remembered that cases such as these called for removing the head, so she teed up with her staff in hand and sent the skull flying in a beautiful drive straight down the fairway.
Upon investigation, the quarterstaff of the vampire was magical, as was the leather armor. Wynter’s skull smashing also resulted in locating a magical pearl, which turned out to be a Pearl of Power that Aldi took as he would make the best use of it.
Just as the band was preparing to descend the hole in the crypt floor, a spider of enormous size emerged and chittered, possibly spelling certain doom!
“This is going on their tab!” Wynter yelled as she readied her quarterstaff.
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